Funny

I Went to Phoenix Comicon to Learn About Raves, and All I Saw Was a PowerPoint

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I expected an 18-year-old decked in beaded jewelry to lead the panel, to tell me where to scope out all the best underground dance parties, and how to seamlessly blend into them, me being the non-raver that I am. At the very least, I was hoping to have a good chuckle at a rave promoter struggling to maintain sanity while leading the panel on MDMA.

I know, it was stupid to expect that, but what I found was just bizarre. The discussion had nothing to do with the local rave scene, or any rave "scene" for that matter, and was instead more of a procedural on attending the official Comicon rave.

The panel started, as all quality presentations do, with the lights being turned out to set the mood (to obtain that drug-induced orgasmic euphoria that rave culture is known for.) This was to accommodate the PowerPoint presentation. That's right drugs, sex, and PowerPoint presentations.

Upon finding out about the PowerPoint presentation I became apprehensive. There was just no way that the gatekeepers to the hedonistic paradise that are local raves would use a PowerPoint presentation. But then the first panelist spoke and he said, "We are going to talk about how much fun raving is," and of course I was sold once again that this group of renegades would show me the way to where the candy kids roam.

They began by talking about the different types of music one might encounter at a rave. Their list included electronica, dubstep, techno, trance, hardcore trance, and "many many more." So this seemed once again like a good omen. They knew the names of a bunch of different styles of music; they had to be deep in the scene. No matter how out of place they seemed discussing underground dance parties.

Following the brief discussion of music, which did not include the playing of clips of Bassnectar's remix/ to "Light" by Elie Goulding, or "Ravers Fantasy" by Tune Up as promised, the discussion, and the PowerPoint, switched to glowsticks.

This is when I really began losing faith in the panelists. First and foremost they did not bring any glowsticks, and from what I've seen of people in the rave scene, they are always ready with some light-up toys, maybe even some fire juggling. But thanks to a nice furry in an army costume who happened to bring some, the panel was ready to roll (not in the drug sense, of course -- more on that later).

The sole male panelist discussed how to properly duel wield the tiny plastic cylinders of light, and taught the crowd some basic glow stick "tricks" like the "outline," which was simply running the glowstick in one hand along the opposite arm and over the head, and the "flurry," which involved moving your hands in a circular motion while holding the glowsticks.

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Jeff Moses
Contact: Jeff Moses