If you stop and really think about it, Juggalos could very well end up being the future of our society. The economy going down the shitter like this points to the inevitable apocalypse. Juggalos might be the only organized group left with the knowledge needed to live off nothing but Twinkies and Faygo. And, since some scientists say Twinkies and Faygo are the only food stuff expected to survive a nuclear strike, I would suggest stashing some face paint away in a safe place, learning how to braid Caucasian hair into corn rows and practicing your "whoop, whoops."
Assimilate or die. Am I right, folks?
But, seriously, there just HAS to be some redeeming qualities, something I can get behind to justify this craziness. And I think I have... Juggalettes!
I went on a worldwide hunt for hot female, face painted "Juggalettes" (or "Ninjettes" as they are sometimes called) and found 10 chicks who you'll agree are kinda hot, even if you're ashamed of yourself for admitting so.
Fortunately for all of us, it looks like the Juggalo community hasn't made the collective jump to Facebook yet, preferring to wonder about the magic of magnets on Ye Olde Myspace, thereby allowing me to cyberstalk without the fbook privacy stuff. Let's take a look at the best of what I found...
Pumkinlette: Pumkinlette more like "Pumkin please lette me out of the trunk of your car!"
Pertinent info: "I am a frigid bitch...case closed. If you ask me for nude pics, the answer is and will always be...HELL NO. I'm married someone who is highly trained with his weapon and accurate up to 1500 M."
Miss Kisa: She can obviously get backstage at The Gathering. Leaving with her dignity and health intact? Only time will tell.
Pertinent info: "Who I'd like to meet: People who are fucking real and not afraid to speak their mind. Porn Stars, weed smokers, rappers, models, cool ass people who DGAF!"