Local Wire

Ladies Night

Page 2 of 4

After taking in some country music and watching women with mullets line dance at the Cash Inn, we swing by the pitch-black Incognito on Thomas, which (surprise!) isn't open.

CooKie keeps sending text messages to the Posse Girls, trying to get them to meet up with us at some of these places. Nobody seems interested in anything but Boobie, but CooKie and I are saving that for later because we want to get there when everybody's drunk and bumpin'.

Boobie needs more foreplay.

So we head for zGirl Club, where two of the Pussy Posse Girls, Playa and Punk, have agreed to meet us. The club sits on a stretch of 7th Avenue, just north of Indian School Road, that's dominated by gay clubs and businesses. There are several gay-owned vintage shops on the strip and zGirl is a very short walk from another well-known lesbian club, e-Lounge — which is where we park for zGirl, as its own minuscule lot is already crammed full of cars.

Playa's waiting at the club when we arrive around 10 p.m., and all three of us are pleased with the scene here. I used to come here every so often for the drag king shows when zGirl Club was called Misty's, but I never came here to hook up because the crowd was mostly composed of mullet-wearin' mamas who danced in Dockers to old Janet Jackson tunes.

But it seems as if a lot has changed since the Misty's days. Tonight, zGirl Club is full of females of every type. There are still some mullets, but the majority of the women here are fucking hot. There's a young lady dressed in a cop costume that I can't stop staring at; a beautiful Asian woman with a Mohawk whose date is a tall, lanky, bald babe with some beautiful tats; a gorgeous black woman with bone structure to die for (hello, Iman!); and a Latina waitress with long, luxurious locks who keeps dancing around and grinding up on CooKie. The music is much better than it used to be, too, partly thanks to DJ Domenica, a longtime spinner at lesbian clubs, who's bumpin' hot hip-hop hits tonight that actually pack the dance floor.

CooKie gives Playa a squirt gun (she's brought a small arsenal), and they head for the bathroom to load up. I have opted not to participate in any water wars, but Playa, a cute, little punk rock chick from Cali who digs all things Alice in Wonderland and works as a Volkswagen mechanic, is totally down for some shenanigans.

On the dance floor, CooKie celebrates our arrival by pulling out her purple plastic gun and squirting Playa in the face with a stream of sink water.

Playa fires back, and suddenly, it's all-out war, with both of them shooting and running relentlessly. CooKie ducks behind other dames as Playa jockeys for position near the stripper pole. The water in the squirt guns is cold, and other patrons scream and gasp with surprise when some wayward water splashes across their backs. After 30 seconds of chaos, the big bouncer woman walks up to CooKie and politely but sternly says, "Don't do that in here."

So the melee spills into the zGirl parking lot, where CooKie and Playa empty their squirt guns onto each other (and me). They go back inside to refill, and we start walking toward e-Lounge. All three of us are wet now.

While we're meandering down 7th Avenue, I hear someone yelling "Fuck you! Fuck yooou!" at us. I turn around and see the Pussy Posse Punk smiling and flipping us off from the driver's seat of her SUV. CooKie yells for Punk to park at e-Lounge, and she and Playa start walking toward Punk's vehicle.

"Yeah, I'll park at your mom's house!" Punk yells, right before getting a massive blast of water in the face from her friends.

CooKie and Playa run toward the next club, giggling, while Punk screeches off toward the e-Lounge parking lot. She's getting out of her truck when the pair bum rushes her again, dousing her shirt. Punk, who's also the drummer for local band Tremulants, has short, crazy hair that naturally stands up like she's in an electrical storm, and a high-energy personality to match. She's good-natured about the assault, screaming threats through her laughter and helplessly covering her head with her hands.

Inside e-Lounge, the crowd doesn't look very promising. There are several people on the dance floor and a bunch of women by the bar, but none of them passes muster with CooKie, so we go make out by the bathrooms while Playa and Punk make out at the bar.

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Niki D'Andrea has covered subjects including drug culture, women's basketball, pirate radio stations, Scottsdale staycations, and fine wine. She has worked at both New Times and Phoenix Magazine, and is now a freelancer.
Contact: Niki D'Andrea