Michele Bachmann to Appear at The Mint in Scottsdale: Five Dance Tracks For Her Visit

1. Carl Bean - "I Was Born This Way" (Jay Todd Re-Edit)
If you're at all familiar with Bachman's polemical platform, no doubt you've heard of her folderol urging the LGBT crowd to "pray away the gay." As any proud member of the rainbow community can attest, their sexual orientation isn't as simple as changing their minds or reciting a few thousand Hail Marys, even if it's was something they actually wanted to do. Hence, this remix of the '70s gay pride disco hit.

2. Lindsey Buckingham - "Go Insane" (Dance Remix)
What better song for the batshit crazy congresswoman, who's support is slipping and her shot at the Oval Office is all but infinitesimal, than the title track to Buckingham's 1984 solo album? Check out these lyrics: "I lost my power in this world/And the rumors are flying/So I go insane/Like I always do."

3. Nine Inch Nails - "Happiness in Slavery" (Bondage Mix)
Over the Summer, Bachmann was embroiled in a minor controversy over her signing "The Marriage Vow," a piece of fundamentalist religious claptrap created by a conservative Christian organization that (amongst other things) purports that African American children were better off under the slavery of pre-Civil War America.

4. Trentemøller - "Danger Global Warming" (Radio Edit)
The oceans aren't rising, the Earth ain't hotter than ever, and carbon dioxide isn't going to eventually choke us to death. At least, that's the opinion of Bachmann, who's repeatedly brays about the "global warming hoax," despite voluminous evidence to the contrary.

5. Speedy DJ Tati - "Shut the Fuck Up"
This Turkish progressive house producer's 2010 track seems like the perfect message to send to a politicians who's spent her career uttering such pearls of wisdom as "Not all cultures are equal," and "There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design."

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Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times. He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits.