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"I lived with him for a while. He was a mess! He had his porn scattered everywhere, chicken bones and stuff in his room. We always had this running joke of how he smelled like paint. I'd go, 'You smell like paint,' and he'd go, 'Navajo white.'"--Griffith

"Doug was really good at skateboarding. When I first met him 13 years ago, he was like the Arizona state champion. He could do a lot of things, do a handstand and skateboard down the street and all kinds of stuff. He always said it was his big feet; he had size-13 feet. "He didn't let me in that far to his hurting; to him I was always Boffo the Clown, that's what he always called me. It was something that one of our teachers in high school called me and it stuck. We always just laughed and had a good time, he wasn't always depressed and dreary. He did have a sense of humor, that's what I'm gonna miss."--Jim Swafford

"Doug was very funny . . . he could keep you rolling all night long. But he could go from funny to very quiet immediately. He could go from funny and very talkative to just total silence. . . . You never really got a grip of Doug."--Zubia

"We were in Flagstaff in a motel, we went up to see Dead Hot Workshop, and the phone started ringing in the morning. You know when the phone rings it's the hotel people trying to kick you out. So Doug picks up the phone and without missing a beat, he does this Hiii-yaaaa! noise and he rambles off into this diatribe about this kickboxing tournament and this kung fu event that's going on with Bruce Lee impersonators and the whole bit. He never missed a beat for like a minute straight, and the last thing he said was, 'AND BRING YOUR CAMERAS!' Then he slammed down the phone. We were all just doubled over laughing."--Notaro

"I'm not just saying this cause he's gone, but he wasn't just a person; he was a force, kind of. He was just so strong, and his personality was so powerful it would just hit you smack in the face. And I guess you could just turn your heels and run cause you were scared, or you just stood there and talked to him."--Notaro

"It was those last five days that I started losing control of Doug. I used to lay in bed with him and talk about the hells of alcohol, me trying to convince him it was only booze, that he could back off for a few days and get his head together. But Doug idealized a lot about suicide, talked a lot about killing himself. In those last five days, he said that it was his God-given American fucking right to take his life, and that's all he wanted to do and that's all that people should let him do. That's how Doug spoke, that's a quote from Doug.

"I wanted him to look at his life, and know that if he did kill himself, he would just be stereotypifying the rock n' roll thing, you know? His response was that his life had been a stereotypical rock n' roll life and that's how he wanted it."--Zubia

"The next-to-last time I saw him, he was talking to this younger friend of mine. Doug was really drunk and he was expounding on the dangers of alchoholism."--Wes Hooker

"My main point here is alchohol killed Doug. He had terrible pain, God knows where he got this pain, this quiet pain that kills him, but he used alcohol as the medicine. I'm positive he wasn't sober when he did what he did, but I'm positive he meant to do what he did . . . this is what Doug wanted."--Zubia

"He wanted to kill himself, he told me that. The last time I saw him, two weeks ago, I was sitting there and he was crying. I'd never seen him cry before; in fact, I'd never seen anybody cry like that. Tears just rolling down his face, one after the other, one after the other. He wasn't sobbing; it was almost calm, but he got the entire placemat wet, that's how much he was crying. "I was lighting his cigarettes for him and all he kept telling me, over and over continuously, was, 'I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die.' And there wasn't a goddamn thing I could say to him that made any sense to him that he would even take seriously. It's what he wanted, and it was not a rash decision."--Notaro

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Peter Gilstrap
Contact: Peter Gilstrap
Brian Griffith
Curtis Grippe
Laurie Notaro
Lawrence Zubia