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Six Must-See Doomsday Shows on Friday in Metro Phoenix

Party at ground zero/Every movie starring you/And the world will turn to flowing pink vapor stew -- Fishbone

Shit could be getting real in about 96 hours from now, yo, when the fated date of December 21 finally dawns. It's highly unlikely, since NASA hasn't spotted any killer comets en route and all the international drama over Axis of Evil nations potentially wielding nuclear weapons hasn't reached a boiling point...yet.

But like your mama probably told you, nothing's certain in this life. But however infinitesimally remote the likelihood, there's always a chance that the world's ending on Friday. It might behoove you to be spending the evening doing what you love, which for local music fans could mean popping open some PBRs and checking out one of several "End of the World" gigs and dance-a-thons being staged by local DJs and bands. You never know, they might just pop off with a cover of the aforementioned Fishbone hit as doomsday commences.

See also: - Black Sabbath: Music For the End of the World - Five 2012 Albums for Enjoying The Apocalypse - 11 Spots to Party 'Til the End of the World in Metro Phoenix

The Haymarket Squares at Tempe Tavern You're not fooling anyone Haymarket Squares. Despite the fact you're staging an End of the World gig at Tempe Tavern with fellow Americana-inspired act Cockswain, we're certain that y'all aren't buying into this Mayan malarkey about the apocalypse and whatnot. Wanna know what tipped us off? The fact that you've got shows booked in January. So there. Check out both bands starting at 8 p.m. Admission's free.

Sedated at Rips Ales and Cocktails This Ramones/Clash cover band will appear at Rips during its combination "End of the World/Rips-mas" party on Friday night. Expect to hear the song of the same name being performed, as well as a performance by DJ Johnny Danger. The party stars at 9 p.m.

Phoenix Dust Circuit Night at Rogue Bar The bands making up local Dust Circuit music collective -- including Hidebehind, Mill's End, World Class Thugs, and We Are Searches -- will join forces for what's being dubbed "the last show of your life." And as far as final concerts go, this one boasts a pretty pimp lineup of local talents. California indie band Little Red Lung will also perform. The gig begins at 8 p.m. Cover is $5.

End of the World - A Planetary Music Event Those who spend what might be their final hours at this off-the-radar dance party had better get their money's worth, especially since its promoters have stated that no refunds will be given out "if the world blows up." Hard to argue with that kind of logic. There probably won't be anyone disgruntled with the selection of sounds being spun, as the diverse lineup is packed with close to a dozen different DJs, including Ruthless Ramsey Higgins, Babel, Evol One, Tucson's Lyfesayver, and the appropriately named Rapture. Doors open at 8 p.m. Admission is $10, VIP access is $15. A free barbecue will also be held from 5 to 7 p.m. in case you want some burgers and brats for a last supper. Call 480-359-7945 on Friday for the event's location.

ArmagEDM at Afterlife The relentless grinding wub-wub of dubstep and the nonstop glitchery of electro might make for the perfect soundtrack if shit like asteroid collisions or solar flareups starts going down on Friday night. The local DJs that will perform at this "end of days" EDM event will provide such apocalyptic-sounding tracks all evening as 18-and-over crowd gets in what could be their last dance. Doors open at 10 p.m.

Minibosses at Hollywood Alley Like the aforementioned Haymarket Squares, the members of the Valley's infamous Nintendo cover band probably aren't expecting that the world's going kablooie on Friday, which is probably why their End of the World Party is being sponsored by the Phoenix Area Skeptics Society. Nevertheless, if it's game over for existence as we know it, the 'Bosses will go out in style as they surrounded by their fans and performing a slew of 8-bit hits. The Amazing Coconauts will also perform. The music starts at 8 p.m. Admission is $5.

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Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times. He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits.