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TUNES OF '93 IN TEN EASY STEPS SIR CHARLES, BARRY GOLDWATER AND DAVE FROM CIRCLE K WEIGH IN WITH THEIR FAVES

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1. "Battle Hymn of the Republic"
2. "Taps"
3. Bing Crosby, "White Christmas"
4. "Washington Post March"
5. "Air Force Song"
6. "Marine Song"
7. Glenn Miller and His Orchestra, "St. Louis Blues"
8. Frank Sinatra, "April in Paris"
9. Dean Martin, "Let Me Call You Sweetheart"
10. Frank Sinatra, "I'll Be Seeing You"

Twyla Webster, New Times editorial assistant
1. Tag Team, "Whoop There It Is." This phrase became a household word.
2. Dr. Dre, "Chronic Smoke." In a nutshell, Dre's album The Chronic was definitely the bomb! Dr. Dre put hisself back on the map.

3. Snoop Doggy Dog, "Gz Up, Hoes Down." Yes, Snoop is a good rapper, and, yes, he is a gangsta and all, but what's up with dissin' females (Ain't No Fun")? If he couldn't talk bad about females, he wouldn't even have an album.

4. Mr. Grimm, "Indo Smoke." For all those who get high, I know you will be playing this song years from now.

5. Toni Braxton, "Breathe Again." She is truly one of the best female singers this year. Her music had lyrics that every female and male can relate to.

6. 2pac, "Fed Up." 2pac may have had his share of problems this year, but his album was very strong and inspirational. While most rappers were busy dissin' females, 2pac found time to let them know they are still special.

7. Mary J. Blige, "Real Love." You go, girl! I hope we hear more from her next year.

8. Silk, "Let Me Lick You Up and Down." These boys have said what most men don't have the guts to say.

9. Tony! Toni! Ton!, "Anniversary." Their album was not as jammin' as the first one. They did make up for it in the end with the anniversary song.

10. Tevin Campbell, "Can We Talk." Good boy gone bad. He had some real strong messages about love on his album.

Serene Dominic, New Times contributor
Ten disappointments of 1993:
1. The Pixies Breaking Up. Seeing the way album buyers have responded to the Breeders and Frank Black, chances are this would've been the Pixies' year. It wasn't.

2. Pete Townshend Turning Into Andrew Lloyd Webber. Sure, Pete invented the rock opera for Andrew to plunder. But Townshend's glitzy restaging of Tommy for Broadway palates only needed Michael Crawford as the deaf, dumb and blind kid to make the hideous transformation complete. 3. Sinad O'Connor Missing in Action. Okay, so she can be a brat at times. She still has more controversy in that bald head of hers than Madonna has in her entire overworked body.

4. Michael Jackson's Bad Publicity. Whatever Michael's paying his damage-control people, they don't deserve it. Why let Michael tell Oprah on national television that he's involved with Brooke Shields and then not pay Brooke She-Devil to go along with the charade? If only they'd coerced Naomi Campbell to go down on Michael in a well-lighted restaurant or figured out a way to get his name in Heidi Fleiss' little black book, none of the current charges would stick.

5. Sequels to 15-Year-Old Albums. Are we to believe that all Meat Loaf had to do was apply the Roman numeral II to Bat Out of Hell to get him back in to the Top 10's good graces? What's next? Rumours II? Sunday Morning Fever? Frampton Comes Alive: The Resurrection? 6. Alternative Radio With Tighter Playlists. Used to be when a new album came out, you'd get a generous sampling of cuts; now alternative radio is combining the worst traits of Top 40 and that other horror show, the classic-rock format. I resent not hearing P.J. Harvey or some other new, exciting artist just so I can hear "Safety Dance" again.

7. No Howard Stern in Phoenix. The king of morning talk radio is in 12 other major markets--why not the Valley of the Sun? How much longer must we endure mush-headed morning "personalities" like Beth and Bill, who're about as controversial as his and hers coffee mugs?

8. The Solo Replacements. Now that we've heard from everyone--save for Bob Stinson--the consensus is that they sound like Keith Richards clones a lot of the time. Which is fine, but we've already got Ron Wood for that.

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Serene Dominic
Contact: Serene Dominic
Ted Fuss
Dave McElfresh
Ted Simons
Twyla Webster