People around Phoenix seem to generally have a different taste in vehicles than people in other parts of the country.
That leads us to notice some trends in car-buying around here, and this list of 10 cars you'll see way too often around Phoenix:
10.) Diesel Trucks With Smoke-Stacks
Why is this a thing? Stop doing this. 9.) Any Hummer
Remember when everyone had a Hummer, then quietly got rid of them once gas hit like $6,000 a gallon? Well, some people held on to theirs. Again, we ask, why?
8.) Cars Coated With Anti-Obama Bumper Stickers
NOBODY CARES.
7.) Gigantic SUVs
Listen, we're not here to bash SUVs. We're just pointing out that it seems a few too many people in the greater Phoenix area have an SUV so large that it would be confused with a school bus if it were painted yellow.
6.) Anything With a Custom License Plate
The custom license plate is like a seven-letter bumper sticker. Nobody cares, and nobody thinks you're clever. Check out the list of the state's rejected custom plates -- the things Arizonans want on their plates are profoundly stupid.
5.) Cars With Fart-Blasters for Mufflers
Sorry to all the Fast and the Furious fans out there, but replacing the exhaust system on your 80-horsepower Honda with something that shoots out a fart noise will not give you a race car.
4.) Fake Luxury Cars
This is the act of buying a base-model vehicle, and trying to fool people into thinking you own the top-of-the-line model. For example, people who buy the $52,000 Mercedes-Benz E350, then affix an "AMG" badge in a bid to get people to think you dropped $100,000 on the E63.
This is incredibly common around Phoenix, and the first problem is that almost everyone affixes the fake badge crookedly, places it in the wrong location, or leaves the other original badges on the car. Usually, it's all of the above, like that SL500 in the photo.
This is the middle-class equivalent of people who put plastic hubcap "spinners" on their 1995 Dodge Caravan. You're a faker, and you're not fooling anyone. Here are two more people we'd like to shame:
3.) Jeep Wranglers
Yes, there are many large rocks in Arizona, but there are zero large rocks on the highway, which is where you can find most Jeep owners, alongside the rest of commuters.
If you've ever wondered what the inside of a Jeep sounds like when someone's driving on the highway with gigantic rock-crawling tires, it's like, "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR."
2.) Duallies
You know why some pickups have two extra wheels in the back? Towing.
People around here seem to use them more for commuting, which is just bizarre.
1.) Lifted Pickups
Is there anyone in Phoenix who doesn't own a lifted pickup? Because, of course, you need a step-ladder to enter your car and drive to your cubicle at work.
Follow Valley Fever on Twitter at @ValleyFeverPHX. Follow Matthew Hendley at @MatthewHendley.
