10 Things Phoenix Newbies Say

Matthew Hendley | December 1, 2014 | 6:00am

Transplants don't always immediately understand the nuances of life in Phoenix.

Below, check out 10 (laughable) things we've heard from Phoenix newbies over the years:

10.) "I'll walk there."

No you won't. You'll be driving to anything more than 1,000 feet away.

9.) "No jalapeños, please."

Don't like spicy? You'll learn.

8.) "These roads are so confusing."

If you find the roads around Phoenix confusing, you can probably manage to get lost inside your own house.

7.) "It's boring here."

Today's Monday, and we have a list of 55 things you can do.

6.) "I love the heat."

Coming from a person who once survived a 93-degree day in Chicago.

5.) "Sheriff Arpaio, isn't he great?"

No, he's actually a megalomaniac, which you'd know if you ever opened a newspaper here.

4.) "I'll just leave this in the car."

Rookie mistake.

3.) "Back where I'm from . . . "

ZzZZZzzzzzZZZ.....

2.) "Let's go hiking!" (At 2 p.m. on July 25.)

Everyone learns the hard way that you have to plan around the sun in the summer.

1.) "It's too hot."

False. It is never "too hot."

Follow Valley Fever on Twitter at @ValleyFeverPHX. Follow Matthew Hendley at @MatthewHendley.

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