10 Types of Arizona Democrats



If there were a field guide to spotting members of a political party, the Arizona Democrat would be listed as a "rare bird."

Still, there are some identifiable types of Democrats from here, as observed in their natural habitats. Check out our run-down of 10 types of Arizona Dems:

See also:
-10 Types of Arizona Republicans

10.) The Pot-Smokin' Hippie


Attributes:

  • Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that.
  • "Dude . . ."
  • Patchouli scent.


9.) The Anti-Republican


Attributes:

  • Political beliefs consist of, "Republicans suck."
  • Does not appear to have own beliefs.
  • Doesn't seem concerned about issues, just how stupid Republicans are.


8.) The Socialist


Attributes:

  • Most sentences start with, "Wouldn't it be cool if we could all . . ."
  • No sarcasm can be detected when they call President Obama "center-right."
  • Is actually down with sharing.


7.) The Hipster


Attributes:

  • Wears short-shorts, but swears it's the Republicans who are uncool.
  • Is the Democratic equivalent of the frat boy.
  • Was pulling for Hillary in '08.


6.) The Pro-Immigrant


Attributes:

  • The most common one-issue Democrat around here.
  • Could probably pass for Republican, if not for resistance to local immigrant-haters.
  • Not always undocumented immigrants, despite belief of local immigrant-haters.


5.) The Party Parrot


Attributes:

  • Speaks like a script to an MSNBC show.
  • Actually does repeat lines from MSNBC shows.
  • Still blames everything on George W. Bush.


4.) The Republican


Attributes:

  • After being exposed to hardcore teabaggers, now assumes he or she is a Democrat.
  • As the name implies, this person identifies with more Republican ideals.
  • May call self a "moderate Democrat."


3.) The Occupier


Attributes:

  • Tries to prove points by sleeping in public.
  • Does not know the points he or she is trying to prove.
  • "Mic check."


2.) The Prius Driver


Attributes:

  • Also known as the pseudo-environmentalist.
  • Is "green," in the sense that "green" is a fashion statement to keep up with the Joneses.
  • Probably tosses cigarette butts out of the window of that Prius.


1.) The Non-Existent


Attributes:

  • Most common type of Arizona Democrat.

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Matthew Hendley
Contact: Matthew Hendley