Longform

Baby Man

Page 4 of 8

When asked what he thinks about his brother's lifestyle, John says, "I try not to think about it," followed by an awkward chuckle. "I saw the roots of it as a child and didn't quite know how to deal with it. But if Bill is a fully functioning individual, and if it's just a curiosity more than anything -- which I believe it is -- I really don't have a problem with it."

Sybil Holiday, a San Francisco-based "certified sex educator," author and "professional dominatrix," agrees -- mostly.

"If someone has the money to do a 24/7 anything and they're not hurting anyone else, then party down," says Holiday, who co-authored Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely with fellow infantilism expert Dr. William Henkin. "Do I think it's healthy? No, I don't think it's healthy for an adult to live as an infant. But if he's not hurting anybody else, and he's enjoying himself and having a good time, then I don't see anything wrong with it."

Today, the "why" no longer matters to Windsor, so he's stopped trying to figure it out. The "how" is much simpler.

When Windsor was 4, a childhood playmate came by one day while his parents were out. Bored, the pair decided to play "house."

"But only if I get to be 'baby,'" Windsor says he told his friend.

Once she agreed, he ran up to his baby sister's bedroom, where he'd been ogling the rubber pants used to protect cloth diapers from leaking. He also grabbed a bonnet, and his friend tied it around his head. Soon, though, his mother returned, and he rushed to put his sister's apparel where it belonged.

"But after that, it became a regular thing for me," he says. "Before I knew it, I was spending every dime my parents gave me for allowance on bottles and diapers at the drugstore. When I became old enough to get a job, all of the money went to diapers and rubber pants. That's when it got out of control."


William Windsor's childhood secret didn't keep him from pursuing a very public career. Once he discovered his stage talents and tenor voice, it didn't take long to shed the outcast image he had in his first two years of high school. He still wore diapers under his jeans on occasion, and he hid diapers and baby bottles in his bedroom at home.

"Everybody in school thought I was a fag," he says. "I was kinda weakly, I guess. I didn't hang around with the jocks, and I played the flute. I quit playing flute, though, because I was getting razzed too much.

"But theater was my escape," he says. "I found out I was pretty damn good at it."

His parents, he says, weren't so enthusiastic. Windsor's mother rarely came to his performances, if ever, he says. His father had already moved to San Diego by the time Windsor became active in high school drama productions.

It wasn't until he moved to New York City at the age of 20 that anyone in his family even acknowledged his desire to perform. Once he got the lead role of Claude in the musical Hair, in 1971 -- the original cast opened the musical in 1968 -- it was his grandmother, Louise Hunter, who sang for the New York Metropolitan Opera until 1928, and not his mother or father, who came to see him perform on Broadway.

But Windsor was getting plenty of attention -- for the first time in his life -- from other women, fellow actors in Hair. Like Debbi Dye, his girlfriend for several months. Dye, who was the understudy for Sheila in the musical, could not be located for this story. But Windsor says they had an intense relationship that revolved around sex, theater and drugs -- pot, mostly, although Windsor says he did "smack" for about six months.

"Man, Debbi was wild," he says.

She was also one of two women at the time -- he thinks -- who knew about Windsor's adult-baby, diaper-wearing tendencies.

"We had separate bedrooms when we lived together, mainly because I wore diapers at night and didn't want her to find out," he says. "But one night she comes into the bedroom, pulls down the sheets, and says, 'I knew it!' But she promised she wouldn't tell anyone."

Beverly Bremers, Windsor's co-star in Hair (she played Sheila), says she remembers him as a "very sensitive guy, which all the girls loved about him."

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Joe Watson