Baby Man

Page 7 of 8

In his kitchen, Windsor's decorated his refrigerator with block-letter magnets. Today it reads:


In the cabinets above his sink, there are dozens of jars of Gerber baby food -- yellow squash, vanilla custard, and meat 'n' veggies. He doesn't eat the baby food every day ("I probably eat 50 percent baby food, 50 percent adult food," he says), but it does have its nutritional benefits, he insists.

"I've dieted with baby food before. It's not the best tasting, although some of those desserts are really good. But there's almost zero fat," he says.

"S'ghettis are my favorite. I really don't like the broccoli and cheese.

"That's gross!"

William Windsor isn't too naive to know that some women -- who will insist that they want to be his mommy, no strings attached -- will attempt to dupe him into giving them chunks of his inheritance. Some already have.

Like a woman he calls "Helen," whom he met about a year ago at his apartment complex.

"There aren't too many women who just come up to you and say they wanna be your mommy," Windsor says. "I shoulda known from the beginning."

But Windsor ended up giving Helen little chunks of cash here and there, taking her to the grocery store several times a day, buying cartons of cigarettes and giving her rides at Helen's beck and call. In return, Helen simply called him Baby, played games once in a while, and went along to be photographed at Glamour Shots. Eventually, Windsor stopped answering Helen's calls because he felt like he was being conned, and hasn't seen her in months.

When he returned to Phoenix from Tennessee after his last attempt at a career in country music about seven years ago, he met "Anna," whom he considers his "best mommy ever."

Windsor says he was briefly homeless, lived in a shelter, and finally worked his way -- via a telemarketing job -- back into a small apartment in north Phoenix. He met Anna through mutual acquaintances, and shortly thereafter, he told her about his adult baby urges.

"I always tell women from the beginning," he says.

Anna had a boyfriend, though, and she was hooked on crack, Windsor says. Still, he helped her out with groceries once in a while before eventually allowing her to stay with him. They did crack together, and it wasn't long before Windsor found himself hooked as well.

"She was a great mommy," he says about Anna. But, like many women, Windsor says, she wouldn't change his diapers.

Nor did they have sex. In fact, Windsor says he's been celibate for nine years now. He doesn't even masturbate, he says.

"When I was married, I'd often have sex with my wife while I was wearing the diaper," he explains. "But every time we finished, I felt so dirty, like it was something I wasn't supposed to be doing."

Windsor would then "throw away" all of his diapers, bottles, bibs and dresses, vowing never to do "the baby thing" again. That never lasted more than three months at a time.

"I figured the best way for me to avoid that was to just stop having sex," he says.

Eventually, his relationship with Anna ended because of her drug problems, he says.

Now, he's got a new mommy, although she won't change his diapers or let him breast-feed.

Anita -- who requests her last name not be printed because she fears Child Protective Services might put her on its radar -- is a 44-year-old woman whom Windsor met through mutual friends in the north Phoenix neighborhood he lived two years ago. Anita knew about "the baby thing" before she'd ever met Windsor.

"I don't think there's really anything weird about him," Anita says, as her 5-year-old son plays on swings at Los Olivos Park, behind Windsor's apartment complex. William sits at a park bench next to her. "I think it's something everybody wishes they could do. Who doesn't just want to be taken care of and mothered all day?"

Anita says she gets to fulfill her urge to nurture, as her son runs through a sandbox in the park. She has an older son who moved out of the house years ago.

"These are my boys," she says.

But she won't change Windsor's diapers.

"That's just not something I'm comfortable with."

She's fine, however, with her son playing "roll the ball" with "Baby."

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Joe Watson