3.) Terrorists bombed the United States? Better call Joe Arpaio
While events were still unfolding hours after the bombing of the Boston Marathon earlier this year, Fox knew they just had to go straight to an expert -- elderly county Sheriff Joe Arpaio.
Of course, Arpaio's completely unqualified to speak about anything about that situation, and was absolutely clueless. The only bullshit he could conjure up was that people were trying to kill him, too, when Neil Cavuto asked him about national security.
"They're trying to do a good job at the border," Arpaio said. "I have five threats to hit me with cartels. The latest one last week, so maybe being high-profile from Washington to Maricopa County with certain groups that don't like the sheriff, and I'll tell you I'm not leaving."
Arpaio followed up amid the report on the dead and wounded in Boston, "I'll be the sheriff for many years."