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For shattering the rules of Journalism 101 and disseminating disinformation, Channel 10 is awarded the seldom coveted Bill Close Award, which is named after the former Channel 10 anchor fossil and is bestowed whenever a broadcaster goes below and beside the call of duty. Bill must be proud.

Ranch-Style Goodness
The state might be trying to shut down the Arizona Boys Ranch, but that doesn't mean state employees can't give it money. The ranch has been in state regulators' cross hairs ever since 16-year-old Nicholaus Contreraz died a gruesome death at the juvenile boot camp. State officials took the unprecedented step of pulling the facility's license for what was termed a "pattern of abuse and neglect."

But the ranch still meets the standards for the State Employee Charitable Campaign, a state-sponsored fund-raising drive. Finance manager Don Goldwater says when charities were being screened for the campaign in April, the ranch was "clean." So, even though Contreraz died in March, and even though Boys Ranch is suing the state, and even though the ranch has racked up an impressive list of abuse allegations in past years, it still made the cut.

Goldwater doubts Boys Ranch is going to see much cash from the campaign now.
"Personally, I wouldn't give to them," he says.

A Rose by Any Other Name ...
Jack Rose, the controversial executive secretary of the Arizona Corporation Commission, has given himself a promotion before he blows the joint. Rose, who announced a few weeks ago that he'll resign in January, rushed a new set of business cards to the printers with a new self-ordained title: Chief Executive Officer.

The reason Rose was in such a hurry to get the cards: He was leaving on yet another trip. Rose, who's racked up $14,273 in travel costs during his short time in the job, had to have the new cards for his jaunt to Washington, D.C., for a meeting with the Federal Communications Commission Rural Task Force, a group of which Rose is a member. Rose said he was leaving the ACC to focus his efforts on the task force. Apparently, he decided to get an earlier start.

The Corporation Commission says it's worth it to send Rose airmail to D.C. for the meeting because he's there to help ensure that Arizona gets its fair share of federal subsidies.

Rose then wings from D.C. to the bright lights of New York City, where he'll meet with financial honchos for Tucson Electric Power. TEP, in case you didn't know, is the utility that has just proposed that its customers pick up the tab for an estimated $600 million to $1.1 billion (that's right, billion) to pay off its "stranded costs"--its generators, power stations and bonded debt. Clearly, that's a lot to talk about.

Rose's frequent absences have become an office joke--some staffers have taken to asking each morning, "Jack off today?"

The Jack of all tirades dictated a huffy response from D.C. to questions about his new title: His job description has always included the term "chief executive officer." So there.

The Flash has a few suggestions for other titles Rose might want to consider. Here are a few of the more printable:

Head Honcho
Massah
Supreme Muckety-Muck
Here Comes Trouble
I'm With Stupid
Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl
Our Lord God
Party Animal
Dancing Machine
Power Broker
Electric Horseman
Utility Infielder
Watt A Guy

But the newly minted CEO will get one more chance to flex his business cards before he departs permanently. He was scheduled to go to Disney World! Or, at least, to Orlando, Florida, for a national convention in November.

Weeding Out the Riff-Raff
When Fife Symington's gubernatorial administration decided to redecorate the Capitol, it cost millions and made big headlines. But let's be candid here--all that marble and a spiral staircase didn't make much difference in how government operated. No posh digs would alter the Fifester's supersecretiveness or his contempt for the citizenry.

The half-million-dollar renovation of the state House of Representatives' building, however, could be a different story. One of the Flash's favorite pastimes at the state Lobbyslature has been to prowl around the House offices--you never know which elected wingnut you'll bump into.

But the Lobbyslative royalty has apparently decided to separate itself from the masses. James Jayne, director of House Operations, told Arizona Capitol Times that the redesign will allow members to get to the House floor and committee rooms via private pathways.

"Members need to have the option of seeing who they want to see," Jayne told the paper.

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