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That's No Hobo, That's My Boss
While designing a brochure for his business, Arizona Liquor Industry Consultants, retired state Department of Public Safety liquor agent Randy Nations asked a friend to draw a "hobo" to illustrate the front of the flier.

The result, Nations insists, bears a remarkable resemblance to the organization's president, Nations himself.

The Flash thinks the man in the sketch is a dead ringer for Howard Adams, director of the Arizona Department of Liquor Licenses and Control--a man known to enjoy a cocktail or two in his time.

See for yourself.

Keep Repeating: "It's Only a Movie."
The climax of the new Tom Cruise film Jerry Maguire takes place during a Monday Night Football game in which the Arizona Cardinals are fighting for a playoff spot. At a preview of the film last week at Harkins Centerpoint 11, a few blocks from the very stadium where the game takes place, this scene got the biggest laugh of the evening. Hard to say whether the mirth arose from the idea that the Cards would be in playoff contention, or that they would be featured on Monday Night Football. Boomer Esiason, by the way, wasn't QB.

The Fifester's Mother Lode
With the passing of his richer-than-god mother, Governor J. Fife Symington III's bankruptcy charade becomes even more transparent.

Even before Martha Frick Symington died November 26 in Scottsdale, Symington was the income beneficiary of four trust funds set up by his late grandfather, Childs Frick; they are worth at least $800,000.

Those trust funds remain off-limits to creditors challenging Symington's effort to erase $26 million in debts through bankruptcy court. The $30,000 per year he derived from these trusts, however, is chump change compared to what the governor stands to inherit.

Martha Frick Symington's death triggers a flurry of transactions that will direct millions of dollars into Governor Symington's pocket. How much is anybody's guess.

"Let's just say he will be very comfortable," a source familiar with the trusts tells The Flash.

Martha Frick Symington was incapacitated by a severe stroke in the summer of 1993. She was confined to a wheelchair and unable to walk or speak the last years of her life. Her declining health may have been a factor in the governor's decision to file for bankruptcy.

Under bankruptcy rules, any money inherited within six months of a bankruptcy filing becomes part of the bankruptcy estate and can be used to pay creditors. Martha Frick Symington survived for 13 months after the governor's September 1995 bankruptcy filing.

Timing is everything.
Martha Frick Symington's death immediately transfers four additional trust funds to the governor's burgeoning estate, according to documents obtained from the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Western District of Pennsylvania.

The governor and his three sisters also stand to collect the principal from another trust fund that now will be distributed to Martha Frick Symington's children. Court documents indicate there are millions of dollars in this fund alone.

"As I understand it, the trust may be springing in the form of cash to the beneficiaries when the mother finally passes away. There's a lot of money involved," Bruce Campbell, a Baltimore attorney representing Symington's sisters, states in bankruptcy filings submitted last spring in Pittsburgh.

But there's more. The Fifester also stands to inherit shares of at least 25 more trusts, depending on Martha Frick Symington's will.

If she is as beneficent in death as she was while living, the governor will be in fat city. The governor's mother and his heiress wife bankrolled his 1990 gubernatorial campaign by steering $1.4 million into his personal account. They all waltzed around state campaign finance laws by claiming they were actually lending the Fifester the money. The governor's wife has since said in sworn testimony that the money was never meant to be repaid, and it wasn't, which would seem to make her donation--how should we say it--illegal?

While the governor appears to have the inside track on tapping his mother's lode, attorneys for Martha Frick Symington's bank caution that MFS, heir to the Frick steel and railroad fortune, could have left the bulk of her money to anyone, including YOU.

"One can posit all kind of hypothetical situations, including mass disasters, that could vest Governor Symington or anybody else in the world with an interest in any of these trusts," Tom McGough, an attorney representing the Mellon Bank, states in court filings.

Another Leaked Memo
For a company created to provide comfort to the mentally ill, the folks at CommieCare sure are killjoys--especially when it comes to workplace romances. CommieCare's Code of Conduct doesn't prohibit relationships among employees, but it might as well. Whoever wrote it could use professional help.

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