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Foul Bill

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He says, "Tell them they need to come down here and tell us that. We haven't seen anybody. I actually suggested the kids do something with bio-diesel, but they gave me this."

Gee, I thought, why would a group of savvy Arizona government students be leery of alt-fuels legislation? But . . . never mind.

Okay, I'll play the media kiosk. Hey, folks, there's a bill currently in the Arizona House of Representatives to make it a higher crime to shove a sports official. If you're a sports official and interested in making it tougher for people to beat you up, go tell Ted Carpenter, the guy who sponsored the bill who knows nearly nothing about the bill.

But you're probably best off not bothering. There's no money behind this thing, you have no paid lobbyists and you have state and national organizations that haven't even called legislators to voice approval for this bill they believe is so important.

Best wait until one of you dies. Then they'll call it "Jim's Law," or whatever, then TV crews will show file photos of Jim's bloody corpse, then senators and representatives will hold press conferences about how there's a little of Jim in all of us. Ted Carpenter will say I told you so. Then the bill will be passed, thanks to much sentimentality and none of the rich legal and ethical debate I believed would be created by this interesting idea.

Is this really how the legislative and democratic process is supposed to work? Like some bad existential play? Called "Waiting for the Dough," perhaps.

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Robert Nelson