Joe Arpaio's Birther "Probe" Scores Him Cover of Globe

He's swiped $100 million from taxpayer-protected funds to use for his own pet programs, engaged in high-profile shenanigans with former fellow Sith Lord and ex-County Attorney Andrew Thomas -- monkeyshines rivaling Watergate in corruption, and still can't do his job and serve tens of thousands of outstanding warrants.

But he can make news for supermarket tabloids like the Globe, and isn't that what law enforcement is all about?

Of course, I'm talking about Maricopa County's geriatric-in-chief who just scored the cover of Globe magazine for his recent meeting with a passel of wackjob birthers. They claimed Sheriff Joe had promised to investigate whether or not President Barack Obama's birth certificate is a phony.

Online birther propaganda mill WorldNutDaily trumpeted the one hour meet-and-greet with the "shurf" by posting pics of a corpse-like Arpaio posing in his office with birther kingpin Jerome Corsi and other human Payday bars.

Corsi presented "evidence" to the shurf that Obama's long-form birth certificate, made public earlier this year, is a hoax. No word on whether or not Corsi asked Arpaio to look into other unexplained phenomena like the Phoenix lights, Bigfoot, the dreaded chupacabra, or the alien autopsy at Area 51.

After the press went bonkers over Joe's birther probe, the shurf backpedaled just a tad, saying that all he told the birthers he would do is look at the evidence.

But now that he's made the supermarket aisles via a classy pub best known for printing crime scene photos of murdered tot JonBenet Ramsey, the shurf may figure there's publicity gold in this here birther mess and go full bore with his investi-ma-gation. 

Heck, maybe he could even arrest the President for being black next time he's in town. Or at least threaten to. Can you imagine all the publicity he'd pull then? Too bad the Weekly World News is kaput. But, hell, there's always The Onion. Or MAD magazine A cover story is a cover story, after all.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.