More than a year ago, Sheriff Joe Arpaio announced his team had developed "probable cause" to believe President Obama's birth certificate was a forgery.
Most people just laughed their rear-ends off and got on with their lives. Others, however, have spent a considerable amount of time proving that every allegation -- every little detail brought up in the "investigation" -- is complete bullshit.
Now, people have discovered the party responsible for creating all the "inconsistencies" in the birth certificate. Arpaio hasn't authorized the arrest of the subject, but the responsible party is . . . a Xerox copier.
After almost every aspect of the "investigation" was exposed as a sham, the birthers have been hanging on to a "computer analysis" of the birth certificate, which tries to prove that some fancy computer analysis shows that some forger had his way with the president's birth certificate.
The report takes issues with individual pixels, and "halos," and shades of black that the report insists must have been done by some great forger.
Turns out, some guy found out that a Xerox WorkCentre copier causes all of the, um, "forgery evidence."
The fellow takes a few documents, scans them into the copier, and all of the "forgery evidence" magically shows up in all his scanned copies. Imagine that.
Of course, it gets worse (it always does). A guy who runs a blog called Reality Check Radio found a video of Arpaio's Cold Case Posse computer "expert," Garrett Papit testing this Xerox thing for himself. Now, this expert is the guy who is so technologically savvy that he uncovered all of these small details in the "forgery." He uploaded the video to YouTube, which shows him unable to figure out how to scan a document on the copier and send it to his e-mail.
Clearly, Arpaio has assigned only the finest investigators to this case.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.