Keystone Clowns

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The Bird thinks that the brain surgeons at Chase Field need to put a little less energy into maintaining audience gentility and a little more into generating more excitement from the stands. This beak-bearin' ink-slinger has heard more commotion from a Library Club meeting than usually goes on these days among Diamondbacks fans. Screaming profanity at the players is just part of baseball, folks. What's next? Diamondback Dogs replaced by pâté? Perrier instead of MGD? Oh, Death, where is thy ever-lovin' sting!?

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Robrt L. Pela has been a weekly contributor to Phoenix New Times since 1991, primarily as a cultural critic. His radio essays air on National Public Radio affiliate KJZZ's Morning Edition.
Contact: Robrt L. Pela