Today is your lucky day: You can live in the former home of ex-Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner.
All you need to cough up is a bare minimum of $15,000 per month.
The 11,300-square-foot house in Paradise Valley is what you might call "badass."
The listing says the house has six bedrooms, six-and-a-half bathrooms, and a four-car garage.
The price-tag is between $15,000 and $30,000 per month, depending on the terms of the lease.
Warner doesn't own the home anymore, as he sold it for $2.5 million at auction in March.
If you're not a cheapskate, you can always buy the home directly across the street from Warner's old pad, for 16 million goddamn dollars. That one has 11 bedrooms and 12.5 bathrooms, which only sounds necessary for someone with an extreme bowel disorder.
You can reflect on the failures in your life as you check out the photos of that one.
Click here for more details on the ex-Warner residence.
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Follow Matthew Hendley on Twitter at @MatthewHendley.