Charge: Driving with a suspended license
We get it. You were probably sleeping on concrete in a holding cell, and it's not good for the hairdo. However, this is the only foreseeable opportunity to work in this quote from Sweet Dick Willie in Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing: "You wanna boycott someone? You ought to start with the goddamn barber that fucked up your head."
Charges: Burglary, resisting arrest, possession of drug paraphernalia, criminal trespassing, shoplifting
Unfortunately, we can confirm that this isn't actually Torry Holt, who has not worn this jersey since December 28, 2008. Although this jersey is straight cash, homey, an index of more-hilarious jerseys can be found at StraightCashHomey.net.
Charges: Administering narcotic drugs to another person, failure to appear
We haven't seen this guy for a few years.