It turns out the worst way to get rid of $1,800 is not to light it on fire or flush it down the toilet.
According to a totally necessary press release from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office, a fellow named Jeff DeWitt won a charity auction to have dinner with Sheriff Joe Arpaio and actor Steven Seagal, for $1,800.
They'll be having their dinner date tonight at an Italian restaurant in a little strip mall next to a gas station in North Scottsdale.
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According to the press release, it's a great time to discuss the couple's foundering television show as well as Seagal's completely fake gubernatorial campaign.
"There should be some interesting conversation tonight for Mr. DeWitt to participate in," Arpaio says in his press release. "Seagal and I are still talking about a potential run for the governor of Arizona and Seagal will undoubtedly talk about his current TV series, Lawman, the Lost Season."
To give you an idea of their celebrity worth -- although you can get dinner with Dumb and Dumber for less than $2,000 -- it cost someone $75,000 to have coffee with the former lead singer of Journey.