It turns out the worst way to get rid of $1,800 is not to light it on fire or flush it down the toilet.
According to a totally necessary press release from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office, a fellow named Jeff DeWitt won a charity auction to have dinner with Sheriff Joe Arpaio and actor Steven Seagal, for $1,800.
They'll be having their dinner date tonight at an Italian restaurant in a little strip mall next to a gas station in North Scottsdale.
According to the press release, it's a great time to discuss the couple's foundering television show as well as Seagal's completely fake gubernatorial campaign.
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"There should be some interesting conversation tonight for Mr. DeWitt to participate in," Arpaio says in his press release. "Seagal and I are still talking about a potential run for the governor of Arizona and Seagal will undoubtedly talk about his current TV series, Lawman, the Lost Season."
To give you an idea of their celebrity worth -- although you can get dinner with Dumb and Dumber for less than $2,000 -- it cost someone $75,000 to have coffee with the former lead singer of Journey.