Film and TV

A Song of T&A: The Best NSFW Scenes From Game of Thrones

Courtesy of HBO
You can cut the aunt-and-nephew sexual tension with a knife.

Game of Thrones ends its eight-season run tomorrow night, but we’ll remember it fondly as must-see television that never skimped on the shocking plot twists, the violence — or the sex. No, GoT has given us plenty of steamy scenes to enjoy over the years, and here are 10 of our favorites. And if for some reason you’re not caught up with the show, you can read on, but take note: The list is dark, and full of spoilers.

All in the Family (Season One, Episode One)

The hot-yet-kinda-icky rendezvous between twin siblings Cersei and Jaime Lannister in the series premiere set the tone for the show. And no one is more uncomfortable watching than young Bran Stark, who catches the incestuous pair in flagrante delicto and gets a short trip out a high window courtesy of Jaime for his snooping (your mother told you not to climb, you rascal).

Women on Top (Season One, Episode Two)

This one’s a two-parter. Daenerys, suspecting there’s more to marriage than a joyless session of doggy-style every night, asks her handmaiden Doreah what she can do to please her husband, Khal Drogo. Doreah is happy to oblige, and the two engage in some very realistic role-playing before Daenerys tries out her new skills on Drogo, who gives a grunt of approval to his wife's take-charge attitude.

Play a Little, Talk a Little (Season One, Episode Seven)

It's the scene that made one critic coin the term "sexposition": Sex workers Ros and Armeca practice their fake moaning while Lord Petyr Baelish (also known as Littlefinger) does what he does best — monologue intensely about power, deception, human nature, and how to take what you want in life. He also throws some backstory in there about how he fell in love with Catelyn Stark as a boy, and how he was never able to have her, but honestly, it's hard to focus on what he's saying due to all the sex noises.

What We Do in the Shadows (Season Two, Episode Two)

Would-be king Stannis Baratheon and Melisandre the Red Witch don't have a lot in common besides their mutual desire to see Stannis on the Iron Throne, which makes their hookup fairly surprising. Stannis won't shut up about battle plans, so Melisandre hijacks the conversation by opening her dress. Before long, he's knocking all the Risk pieces off his war strategy table in hopes of impregnating the Red Witch.

Melisandre promises Stannis, who has only a daughter, that she will give him a son, and if by son, she means "creepy shadow that floats out of her womb and kills people," then, well, mission accomplished. We notice that she keeps her necklace on during her tryst with Stannis — as we learn in season six, she's a little less attractive without it.

The Cave of Wonders (Season Three, Episode Five)

Jon Snow and Ygritte the wildling are kind of the Sam and Diane of Game of Thrones — except, this being Game of Thrones, it was pretty obvious that Ygritte was going to take Jon's V-card sooner or later. It took several episodes' worth of sexual innuendo, challenges to his masculinity, and sleeping curled up next to one another "for warmth" before they ended up in that cave, but in the end, it was worth it — for the characters, and for us. As it turns out, Jon Snow does know a thing or two about women.

Jon and Ygritte are another GoT couple that meet a bad end — after Jon leaves the wildlings to return to the Night's Watch, she puts three arrows in him. But even after she's killed in a raid on Castle Black, Jon stays true to her memory — that is, until he meets his aunt.

It Must Have Been Love (Season Three, Episode Seven)

This one hurts. Robb Stark and Talisa Maegyr first met in season two when they locked eyes over a wounded Lannister soldier whose foot she was trying to amputate, and it just got more romantic from there. The pair married for love rather than duty, and in this heartwarming scene, they've just finished a roll in the hay, when Talisa's announcement that she's pregnant inspires Robb to go for round two.

A first-time watcher will appreciate this tender portrayal of married bliss and hope that these two live happily ever after; the experienced viewer will note with despair that both Robb and Talisa are two episodes away from being murdered at the Red Wedding, and curse George R.R. Martin and his penchant for killing off all the good characters.

The More, the Sexier (Season Four, Episode 3)

Prince Oberyn of Dorne and his paramour, Ellaria Sand, are nothing if not fair-minded. Each of them enjoys the company of both men and women, and this is put on full display when the pair visit Littlefinger's King's Landing brothel. Ellaria watches while Oberyn inspects the available women, but he doesn't restrict himself to what he's offered: Olyver, Ser Loras' sometimes booty call and Littlefinger's spy, also gets pulled into the orgy.

Considering the horrible fates of Oberyn (head crushed by the Mountain) and Ellaria (poisoned by Cersei), we're glad that Game of Thrones' sexiest swingers got to have a little fun while they were still around.

Isn’t It Romantic (Season Seven, Episode Two)

We love Game of Thrones, but it’s rare that they show us a love scene that’s sweet as well as steamy. So we squealed with delight when Missandei and Grey Worm finally do the deed — well, sort of. As a member of the Unsullied, Grey Worm is a eunuch, but he doesn't let that get in the way of a passionate encounter with the love of his life before heading off to capture Casterly Rock.

He never feared anything before he met her, he says. Now, "you are my weakness." Missandei reacts by taking her clothes off (can you blame her?), and leads Grey Worm to the bed for some intimate battle maneuvers.

But She’s His Aunt (Season 7, Episode 7)

So as we all know by now, Jon Snow is not the bastard son of Ned Stark; he’s Aegon Targaryen, the trueborn son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. Which makes him the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. Oh, and Daenerys’ nephew.

Daenerys finally lets Jon hit it after he declares his support for her claim to the Iron Throne in front of Cersei, and a pretty good sex scene ensues. Except that, you know, she’s his aunt. Don’t let the tastefully lit nudity and emotional catharsis distract you from the fact that she’s his aunt.

A Girl Has No Virginity (Season 8, Episode 2)

It’s the scene that launched a million “How old is Maisie Williams?” Google searches. (She’s 22. It's fine.) On the eve of the Battle of Winterfell, some of our characters drink, some talk, and some sing (hi, Podrick!). Arya decides that since they might lose the battle, it’s time to lose something else, and after interrogating Gendry for a while about his sexual history, commences to shed the Seven Kingdoms’ most constrictive outfit. Our little murder baby is all grown up.

Of course, it doesn’t end well. Gendry catches feelings, and although he and Arya survive the battle, Gendry gets murdered by words when he proposes to her in episode four. “I’m not a lady. I never have been,” Arya says to the newly minted Lord Gendry Baratheon. “That’s not me.” Ouch.