CAP, OUR ASS
If David Stern could get away with it . . .: The story on the NBA supposedly imposing a tattoo cap made complete sense to me.
Commissioner David Stern's already instituted a dress code for NBA players — because he hates hip-hop fashion. I'm sure he hates all the "thug" tattoos, as well. I think he'd do a tattoo restriction if he could get away with it.
The league probably hasn't brought it up for two reasons, really: It would be considered racist, because it's mostly black players who have lots of tattoos (it's mostly black players in the NBA — period). And it would be impossible to enforce.
Imagine if some hot prospect out of Duke had a couple of full sleeves and the NBA wanted to keep him out of the league. Owners, coaches, players, everybody would be mad as hell.
I enjoyed the story, despite the error. It was interesting to see why Phoenix Suns players got the ink they got.
Jamie Dennis, Phoenix
Now you know, Joe: I can't believe New Times printed a story with such an obvious error in it! The writer got "punked," all right.
Yet the story was a fun read and well written. It was good to get a close look at some of the tats and find out what they mean. I had always wondered what all that writing said on Amar'e Stoudemire's chest.
Joe Tedesco, Phoenix
Payback's a bitch: How ironic! New Times, which loves to punk its readers, gets punked itself. Finally, payback. And payback's a bitch, isn't it? Heh.
Too bad you didn't do the tattoo cap thing as a spoof for All-Star weekend. It would've been better than doing a straight story on Suns tattoos that contained an error.
Thomas Russell, Phoenix
A bad idea? We'll see: Maybe this will make you guys understand that "punking" the public, which you so love to do, is a bad idea.
You turn off as many readers as you turn on when you run such stories as the one on Anna Nicole Smith's Native American love child. Stick to what you do best over there at New Times — investigative journalism.
William Shields, Scottsdale
It was clearly satire: The tattoo cap is not a travesty; it's a complete farce. The author of this article presents it as fact, but the quotes come from a clearly satirical blog post.
Alana Nguyen, via the Internet
So obviously satire: Sorry, I don't think you can blame this one on getting "punked." I think you have no one else to blame than yourself for believing an article that is so obviously satire and going to print with a story that you pulled entirely off of a blog.
No friend to us in the NBA: [David Stern] hates tattoos and would gladly ban them if he could get away with it. Bad for business, he thinks. [He's] no friend to us in the NBA. Thanks Niki, loved your story. You let us talk about our passions.
THE NEW CAVEMEN
It's okay to be short: It just goes to show that you're dead to lots of women who don't know you if you're not at least 5-foot-9.
I answered personals for years, and I always lied about the fact that I'm 5-foot-6. Because when I was truthful, I'd get stonewalled before the girl even met me.
True, sometimes they'd meet me, tower over me, and get turned off immediately. No sale. But most of the time, when a lady bothered to get to know me, she liked me, and things took off from there.
I'm happy to report that I met a lady through a blind date who accepted me for who I am (a short, but smart, attractive, and nice guy), and now we're married.
So, ladies, don't get so caught up on height. We don't live in caves anymore, where only big guys can wrestle down the big game.
Dave Noel, Phoenix