Off the Cuffs

John DiResta's got a new catchphrase he hopes will grab the nation by the balls: "How's your cock?" asks the portly comedian and former NYPD flatfoot. So far, response has been mixed. "You're the second person I've asked, seriously. The first one was my wife. She just said, 'Fine. How's yours?'" Dick jokes and doughnut tales alike will be part of DiResta's act when he co-headlines "Good Cop/Bad Cop" with Juston McKinney, another cop-turned-comic, Friday, July 16, through Sunday, July 18, at the Tempe Improv, 930 East University. The show gets its name from the guys' disparate approaches to both law enforcement and joke-slinging -- DiResta's a vulgarian who raps about how he slept on the job and got freebies as one of New York's Finest, a far cry from his new partner. "To me, it was a hobby taking free food, but Juston would feel bad about taking a free cup of coffee, even while taking a report at someone's house," says DiResta. "He's squeaky-clean, and his act kills."

Tickets are $20; call 480-921-9877. --Benjamin Leatherman

Somethin' Fishy

Ska band wants to reel you in

Tue 7-20
If it's a "Sell Out" they want, Reel Big Fish has yet to get it at Tempe's Marquee Theatre, 730 North Mill, on Tuesday, July 20. Which means you can still get tix, $20, and catch the Fish in action. Rx Bandits, Catch 22, and Suburban Legends open the show at 6:15 p.m. Call 480-829-0707. --Joe Watson

Caught in the 'Net

Masters blows the woodwind

Sun 7/18
If Ernesto Cavallini is the Paganini of the clarinet, then Guillaume Grenier-Marmet is a Pagan. Not really. We're just having a bit of fun with words -- at Paganini's expense. Grenier-Marmet -- an ASU doctor of musical arts in clarinet performance -- will have the last (and probably only) laugh at 2 p.m. Sunday, July 18, at Borders, 7000 East Mayo in Scottsdale, when he performs 11 Caprices, Cavallini's masterpieces. A discussion of Cavallini's "amazing virtuosity" follows. Call 480-513-8848. --Joe Watson

Hooray for Bollywood

Check out "playback singers" July 18

Sun 7/18
Admit it: You like singing along with musicals, even if the rest of the audience prefers you didn't. Consider a career as a "playback singer" in India, belting out filmi, or pop music for Bollywood soundtracks. Better warm up first (it's a highly competitive profession) by taking in "India Plaza Mahima" on 4:30 p.m. Sunday, July 18, at Paradise Valley High School, 3950 East Bell. K.S. Chitra and Biju Narayan front a six-piece band for a concert of "light music" with selections from four languages -- Hindi, Tamil, Telugu and Malayalam. Proceeds benefit the Maha Ganapati Temple. Admission is $50 for VIPs; $25 for adults; $10 seniors and students; and free for kids 10 and younger. Visit -- Benjamin Leatherman