The Grrls Next Door

Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs includes an infamous slice of cinematic history that's been forever burned into our collective pop-cultural consciousness: the giddily psychotic thug Mr. Blonde hacking off the ear of a bound and gagged LAPD cop to the lighthearted strains of Stealers Wheel's "Stuck in the Middle With You."

Now imagine the roles in this notorious scene assayed by a pair of nubile and nearly nude sirens who even incorporate a lap dance into the act. This saucy substitution isn't a surreal shenanigan lifted from some late-night public-access shock fest, but an example of the kind of vampy vignettes that are staples of the SuicideGirls Live Burlesque Show, which also offers stripteases by a half-dozen of the Bettie Page-like ladies featured on the ultra-popular soft-core Web site

Missy Suicide, a 27-year-old photographer who created the "alternaporn" site in 2001 along with Portland, Oregon, entrepreneur Sean Suhl, says this year's version of the show won't include the Girls' particular spoof of Reservoir Dogs, but that plenty of other sexy skits will, er . . . go down. Missy also promises plenty of bump-and-grind numbers from a whole new cast of alt-girls, who'll be tossing their Manic Panic locks and shaking their moneymakers to songs ranging from acts like the White Stripes to Elvis Presley.

"They'll keep their bottoms on and only go down to, like, a thong with pasties or tape over their nipples, though," Missy tells New Times. "So it's erotic, but still tasteful."

It's all in the spirit of the troupe's "pinup-girl aesthetic," Missy explains, with "the kind of girls you'd see at your local punk-rock show. They're the girl next door, except with tattoos and piercings."

While she's tight-lipped about which Girls will be performing, she promises that the buxom, black-haired bombshell Nixon and the blonde hottie Reagan will be in the house (and that they might be bringing some chocolate sauce and whipped cream for use in their performances).

Although one might expect the SuicideGirls' audience to consist solely of panting males, Missy says that, just like the site's subscriber base, there are usually as many women in the crowd as men.

"A lot of girls come with their boyfriends or by themselves," she says. "Surprisingly, it's got nothing to do with lesbian chic or anything like that, because most of the women who subscribe to the site or come to the show are straight chicks who appreciate the beauty of other women."

Because of their earthy nature, the SuicideGirls seem more accessible than the average porn star, leading some fans to believe they could bag a private performance from one of the girls.

Missy dismisses this. "I'm sure that's the case with some people," she says, "but they're also the same types who think they have a shot of hooking up with Jenna Jameson or Pamela Anderson."