They're Not Booing, They're Saying "Lew!"
With court employees looking on in admiration, KPNX-TV (Channel 12) newsman Lew Ruggiero helped a confused citizen find records of a 22-year-old felony.

The citizen, a middle-aged man in tennis shoes and warmups, had explained to a court clerk that he wanted to buy a gun, but when he tried to purchase one, he realized that he'd never had his civil rights restored after serving a year of probation in 1974.

The clerk sent him away, telling him to try an office four floors up. A few minutes later, the man was back with the venerable newsman on his arm. He'd mistaken Ruggiero for a lawyer and asked for his help.

The heartwarming scene--Ruggiero running through microfiche records while asking the man what crime he'd committed--put a smile on the face of one clerk who said: "Doesn't the guy watch TV? Doesn't he realize who that is helping him?"

Ruggiero, one of two or three TV people ever seen doing actual research in the clerk's office, shrugged off the kudos by explaining that he was doing what any responsible citizen would. Quipped Lew: "Hey, any time I can help a felon get a gun . . ."

Perhaps "Linda Will Be There"
Fountain Hills Republican Linda Kurgan really wants to get elected to something. Hey, I know! How about the Arizona Senate?!

After failing twice to be named Ms. Arizona and launching a dignified but futile high-stakes gambit for the Maricopa County Government Charter Committee, Kurgan announced her candidacy for Senate from District 28 by unleashing a Professionally Prepared Press Kit that would make any spin doctor's pulse race.

No detail is spared. She's got a campaign slogan "Linda Will Be There!" and a platform "Program for Progress!" Her kit lists her voluminous staff, including Campaign Manager, Assistant Campaign Coordinator, Campaign Coordinator, Public Relations Coordinator and Treasurer.

She includes a pithy Quote Sheet, including: "Linda ran a dignified and professional campaign during the recent County Charter Government Committee race." That endorsement comes from her Campaign Manager!

Kurgan's credentials include selling her own handcrafted faux cacti. And she's a cybernaut, featured on the cover of the September issue of Home Office Computing. Copy that!

She offers volume discounts: a $200 donation gets you in the door (not to mention access to Linda) at all future fund raisers free! Thumbs up all around!

And on top of everything else, Linda can party like the veteran pol she isn't. According to a press release, her campaign kickoff and fund raiser "did not break up until after 8 p.m." Whoa, Nellie!

Gratuitous Fife Reference
The Flash's genetic makeup prevents him from going two weeks without mentioning Governor J. Fife Symington III. To wit:

When taking breakfast at The Eggery, the Fifester usually commands a centrally located table from which he can hold forth and spew jocularity, goodwill and eggs Benedict all over surrounding diners.

Last Sunday, however, Fife took (We don't mean he actually took it--that's just a figure of speech. Surely somebody paid for it.) his breakfast at a table waaaaay far in the back, away from the generally law-abiding, non-indicted crowd.

And when his entourage departed, the Flash sensed a bit of a hangdog look about it: The awful burden of governance.

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