Buoy Meets Girl

You’re in the nightclub, precious first-impression seconds ticking away, and she’s looking at you with breathless expectation. The lie just slides out. “I’m a Navy SEAL.” There it is. Suitably impressed awe. Can’t go back now, sailor, but you can’t go forward, either, so hitch up your tighty-whities, look that beautiful girl in the eyes, and tell her that, er, what you meant to say was that on Saturday, March 14, you’re entering the Navy SEAL Fitness Challenge and she’s invited to watch you race against the time clock in a 500-yard swim and 1.5-mile run, then give the SEAL overseers 80-plus pushups and sit-ups and 11 palm-out pull-ups.

If you can do it, you just may get past that initial lie. If you have your ass handed to you by a chick or a 13-year-old kid, we doubt the lie will hold.

Sat., March 14, 7 a.m., 2009