Gay kids have it tough enough without mommy-bloggers outing their 5-year-olds and phone apps that determine kids’ sexual preferences. No wonder Justin Bieber looked so damn relieved when that chick publicly claimed he got her preggo.

If you think Bieber had it bad, check out Joshua Conkel’s MilkMilkLemonade at Tempe Performing Arts Center. The show’s protagonist, Emory, is an 11-year-old farm boy who plays doctor with the neighborhood bully and whose only friend is a chicken that’s destined to be dinner.

Stray Cat Theatre’s gender-bending cast includes Sam Wilkes as Emory’s chain-smoking granny and ASU theater major Kaleena Newman as the pre-teen protagonist. “We were looking for someone who was naturally effeminate, with the innocence of a kid but the acting chops to pull off the ‘adult’ stuff that happens in the show,” says artistic director Ron May. Plus, audiences can avoid the creep factor of watching two fourth graders get down and dirty in a scene modeled after A Streetcar Named Desire.

Fridays, Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 2 p.m.; Thursdays, 7 p.m. Starts: Dec. 2. Continues through Dec. 17, 2011