At the risk of being labeled a sadomasochist, I checked out Sheriff Joe's first Webcast today, which his PR apparatchiks say he'll be doing every Wednesday at 1:30 p.m. for five or 10 minutes at a time.
Those apparatchiks were on the show with Joe, flanking him on either side: Lieutenant Brian Lee, and wannabe-poodle-primper Lisa Allen, perhaps best known for getting booted off the first episode of the lame-o reality TV show Groomer Has It.
Interestingly, Allen actually referred to her jefe of almost two decades as a "media whore," while characterizing the press' attitude toward him.
Wow, Lisa, nice going, there. I mean, sure, it's the truth, but for Joe's first ever livestreaming event?
Here's what Allen said about Arpaio, who I swear looks like he's shrinking as the video rolls:
"[Sheriff Arpaio] is referred to as a media hog. He is referred to as a media whore. But there has always been a reason for it. I've been with him for 18 years as his media director, and he came to me with a specific instruction. It's an open door policy."
"Open door policy"? Now that's really funny. Yep, that door is so open that the MCSO had to cough up $40K in lawyer fees recently because it'd held back documents from New Times and forced us to sue to get them.
The rest of it was pretty boring. Lee and Allen quibbled with a recent Arizona Republic report about Arpaio's anti-immigrant sweeps, wherein the Republic talked about how the MCSO had nabbed 932 people -- most of them illegal immigrants -- during 15 sweeps since 2008. Um, not exactly earth-shattering there. Particularly since most of the arrests were for petty stuff.
"Is the arrest of 1,000 people really an ineffective crime sweep?" wondered Allen aloud. Well, maybe if the MCSO had gotten them all at once. But over two years and 15 sweeps? Do the math. It ain't that impressive.
Allen also encouraged people to name which news outlet best covers Joe. Next time, why not ask folks what color tie he should wear? Or maybe they could vote for the Joe's best known victim: Scott Norberg, Charles Agster, Brian Crenshaw, or someone else who met their untimely end in Joe's vast incarceration complex?
Hey, not that I'm complaining. I think Joe should continue to do these Webcasts even if he's indicted by the federal grand jury investigating him.
Hell, should he ever end up there, he could do 'em in the federal pen, with pink undies on. Now that'd be some fine entertainment. I'd even pop some popcorn for that.
