Feathered Bastard

Everyone Knows Darrell Ankarlo Blows, KTARsucks.com Wants to Tell You How Hard

Who has the time, or motivation to listen to bigoted KTAR blowhard Darrell Ankkkarlo's b.s. on a regular basis? Once in a while I'll flick on PHX's Glenn Beck-wannabe, just to see if KTAR's fired his lame ass yet. But you'd really have to be a glutton for earaches to tune into this moron Monday through Friday on a regular basis.

Nevertheless, someone should maintain a watch on the Herman Munster-lookalike as he spews hate, sputters inaccuracies, and contradicts himself for three and a-half hours every day. (Nice gig, that.) In any case, that's what KTARsucks.com aims to do, as it monitors Ankarlo's blunderings and reports them on its blog. Brilliant idea, if you ask me, as KTARsucks.com will never run out of material as long as KTAR allows this egomaniacal lip-flapper to waste air time.

"I just couldn't take it anymore," said the site's Web master, who goes by "Nick from Ahwatukee," and is a regular caller to Ankarlo's morning show. "I can't believe there's no one pushing back against this guy. I think there needs to be a response almost daily to some of the stuff that's on the radio."

Nick's looking for a few good men and women to help him keep tabs on KTAR's top Gila monster, as he can't do it all. But he's apparently already gotten flack from KTAR's news honcho Russ Hill, who -- according to Nick -- e-mailed YouTube about videos Nick had posted. Nick's posted a copy of the Russ Hill e-mail on his site. I called Hill for a comment, but he hasn't returned my call. Wonder why?

Nick says he's talked to some lawyers about it and has reposted the videos. They're fair use, he says, because he's commenting on Ankarlo's recorded stupidities. And though I'm no lawyer, it looks like fair use to me. Plus it's highly ironic that KTAR would try to shut down a small site like this when last year they made such a big stink about being "banned" from being played on ASU's busses. What're Ankarlo and Hill afraid of? They're so good at dishing the crap, but they wuss out like little baby-men whenever anyone dogs them.

Thankfully, Nick's not backing down to these radio weenies, nor should he. Fellow haters of KTAR should come to his help, and give him a holler at the [email protected]. Join the anti-Ankarlo army, and help Nick with content. In the meanwhile, here are a few suggestions for Nick and his band of brothers:

1) Mine Ankarlo's lame-o book Another Man's Sombrero for subject matter. The book is full of the brown stuff -- and by that, I mean donkey poo. So go over that piece of nativist crap with a fine tooth comb, and you're bound to find some chunks in there to throw back at the FM Archie Bunker.

2) Ankarlo's past: Ankarlo has been on the air in markets such as Tennessee and Dallas. Stuff was written about him there, and he pulled bonehead stunts in these places. Exhume it all and rehash it for those unaware of it in Phoenix.

3) Go over some of the turds Ankarlo's laid while he's been in town: Kissing Sheriff Arpaio's butt constantly, endorsing Andrew Thomas for County Attorney on air after getting the C.A.'s seal of approval for Ankarlo's book, paid for by RICO dollars; and so on.

4) Compare Ankarlo's statements as much as you can with his previous, often contradictory statements, and with the truth.

5) Start an anti-Ankarlo Twitter to go with the site.

6) Giveaways: I got one of your free KTARsucks.com stickers, and it's the first ever sticker I've put on my car. T-shirts, keychains and coffee mugs are no-brainers as well.


7) Whenever Ankarlo vaguely refers to his show as being number one, correct him with the following info, which I just got from the fine folks at Arbitron, who track all of this stuff.

According to Jessica Benbow, Arbitron's spokeswoman, they keep records on the 6 a.m.to 10 a.m. time slot, and the 10a.m.to 3p.m. time slot. As Ankarlo's 8:30 a.m. to noon slot overlaps these, we'll take them separately.

In the 6 a.m.to 10 a.m. slot, KTAR 92.3 FM ranked fourth in market share for this past fall, which covered September 18 through December 10, 2008. KTAR was beat out by Spanish station KHOT FM in first place, wingnut AM station KFYI 550 in second, and soft-rocker station KESZ 99.9 FM at third.

KTAR does a little better later in the day, in the 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. time slot, where they come in third, behind KESZ in second and KFYI in first.

So if Ankarlo claims to be "number one," tell him, "In your dreams, Frankenstein-face!" Heh. Actually, I like to think of Darrell when I'm doing number two. Is that close enough for ya, D?

PS: Here's a challenge for Nick. Find out if Ankarlo wears a rug. In the photos from his recent visit to a Slipknot concert, it sure looks as if in one he's sans hairpiece, while in the others, he's got his coonskin cap on. Sca-ry.