Feathered Bastard

Joe Arpaio's Wing-Nut Supporter John Philip Sousa IV's Hysterical Appeal for Moolah

Anyone who actually would be proud to be the great grandson of John Philip Sousa, a third rate 19th Century composer of marching tunes whose music could bore you right into a coma, must have a screw loose.

See also: -Joe Arpaio Takes Full Advantage of Scary Box in Mail: "I'm a Victim" -Joe Arpaio Recall Boasts 169,283 Valid Signatures, 166,034 More Needed by May 30 -Joe Arpaio Recall's Naysayers Laurie Roberts and Mario Diaz, and Why We Fight

And indeed, committed nativist and Sheriff Joe Arpaio wingtip-licker John Philip Sousa IV is seriously meshugga, but since he's appealing to his fellow wingnutty conspiracy theorists throughout the Internet with these emailed ads for cash, you can bet he'll strike paydirt.

Join the effort to oust Sheriff Joe Arpaio from power.

This latest bit of sucker-bait is on behalf of his independent expenditure committee Americans for Sheriff Joe/Against the Recall, a revamped version of Americans for Sheriff Joe, which during the 2012 campaign raised $2.8 million in order to pimp for Maricopa County's aged autocrat.

Sousa's appeal exploits the recent, lame bomb threat against the Augusto Pinochet of Arizona, suggesting that sinister forces are at work.

"Was this a warning from the drug cartels... or yet another violent act from pro- amnesty radicals?" Sousa asks. "Either way it's clear: Sheriff Joe's life is in grave danger."

Drug cartels? When has Arpaio ever done anything to mess with drug cartels?

Crikey, Mexican drug lords love Arpaio. All he does is raid Sizzlers and local carwashes to nab dangerous dishwashers, food servers and hose-wielders. Why would "drug cartels" care about them?

You gotta admire the chutzpah of this birther boob's other possibility: "or yet another violent act from pro-amnesty radicals."

Um, "yet another"? What would the first one be, John?

While you're thinking, I'd be happy to mail you a copy of this new tome, And Hell Followed with Her, an account of a fellow foe of illegal immigration, minutewoman Shawna Forde.

She's currently on Arizona's death row for the 2009 home-invasion murders of nine-year-old Brisenia Flores and her father. Maybe you can go visit her in prison and trade nativist talking points.

Pretty much everyone I know on the pro-immigration side of the fence is a pacifist, and unlike the knuckledraggin' haters who support Joe, they don't show up to demonstrations strapped with firearms.

These days what they're strapped with are petitions. It's the democratic process that will ultimately bring Joe low, not Sousa's fantasies of bomb plots by "pro-amnesty radicals."

I'll agree with Sousa on one thing, Joe's life may be "in grave danger." But not from pro-amnesty plots. From his next slip and fall, natch.