Feathered Bastard

Sarah Palin's First Male Bimbo Eruption: National Enquirer Exposes McCain Veep's Alleged Affair.

Did Sarah cheat on Todd? So saith the National Enquirer...

During the Clinton years, they used to call them "bimbo eruptions." Now that the National Enquirer has finally published its tell-all tale of Sarah Palin's alleged affair with a former business partner of hubby Todd, I guess we'll have to start calling them "male bimbo eruptions," "mimbo eruptions," or maybe "stud eruptions," though that kinda sounds like a gay porn video. Not that I'd know anything about gay porn, of course.

Anyway, coming to a supermarket checkout line near you (if it hasn't landed there already) is the Enquirer's tawdry account of Palin's alleged relationship with one Brad Hanson, who, as Gawker points out, is a dead ringer for the supposedly cuckolded Todd. According to the Enquirer's sources, one of whom is named, Hanson was keeping the Wasilla Wackjob warm on those cold Alaskan nights while Todd was away on the North Slope drillin' oil. Did Palin and Hanson get their own form of global warmin' going on back in the '90s? Hey, that's how the NE tells it, and they claim to have polygraphs and sworn affidavits to back it up.

“Todd was away on business a lot and Sarah felt lonely," one insider told the Enquirer. "Brad was a good listener, and Sarah talked to him at length. Eventually, she real­ized she was falling in love with him."

Someone cue the syrupy soap opera music. Not that I really care if Palin was getting some stick action on the side, but aren't the Republitards supposed to be the party of family values and all that jazz? Plus if roles were reversed, and someone discovered that Obama fooled around on Michelle, it'd be all over right-wing talk radio. You know, like how wing-nuts such as Glenn Beck have gone after John Edwards over his affair with Rielle Hunter and the offspring that some allege is his, despite his assertions to the contrary.

Both Palin and Hanson have denied the illicit liaison, not unlike the way John McCain and DC lobbyist Vicki Iseman denied they did the horizontal mambo. Why all this hypocrisy over wanting a little extramarital love connection? Clinton denied many of his dalliances as well, and he made a damn fine Prez. Save for the fact that the Republicans impeached him over the one involving a stained blue dress. Hmm, does that mean if McCain's elected and Palin becomes VP that the Dems can depose her under oath and indict her if she happens to fib about her studmuffin addiction? Problem is, the Dems ain't that vindictive. If they were, they'd probably win more elections.

There are a few legitimate issues raised by the NE's gossip-mongering. For one, Sarah "Peyton Place" Palin has allowed family intrigue and folks' personal relationships to influence her decision making as governor in the land of glaciers and sockeye salmon. The Wall Street Journal recently reported on how a Palin aide's affair with the wife of a Palin pal likely led to the aide's firing. And then there's the Troopergate mess, where Palin is alleged to have had Alaska public safety director Walter Monegan sacked because he wouldn't fire her redneck ex-brother-in-law from his position as a state trooper.

Finally, the Republicans have been all over Barack Obama's personal life like red ants on a wet Jolly Rancher. Case in point, the new conservative Bible, Jerome Corsi's book The Obama Nation, a pack of scurrilous prevarications and truth-twistings that are untwisted in the Obama campaign report Unfit for Publication. Obama's life is an open book. So tell me why Palin's shouldn't be? Especially if we're talking about facts, which the National Enquirer insists it's doing.