Wake Up Call

Apparently, Mayonnaise Enemas Are Considered Performance Art in Canada

According to news reports from Canada, a performance at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival treated audience members to the show of a lifetime by including several mayo enemas and just a little bit of fellatio.

"What I saw were not one, not two, but three mayonnaise enemas," Fringe Festival reviewer Michelle Palansky told CBC Manitoba. "By the third time . . . I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."

Because two was fine. But three? Now that's just absurd.

See also: - AndyTalk: The Winning Combo of Cauliflower and Mayonnaise

The show starred two naked actors, Ian Mozdzen and Doug Melnyk, and took place last Friday night. They call their performance art "Hollywood Hen Pit," and according to the CBC, the show is completely improvised. In addition to the three creamy enemas, the show also included "a couple of seconds" of oral sex -- though in the performers defense, they say it was just "simulated." Whatever that means.

Even for people voluntarily attending the festival, which aims to showcase unique theatrical experiences, the show was a bit too much, causing some audience members to walk out. Winnipeg police pointed out that performing live sex acts on stage is illegal, but festival organizers are defending the artists and their show and are allowing them to finish their six-performance run.

"We're sort of trying to show all the sides of the body and of human actions that people are often embarrassed about or have conflicted feelings about . . . We're going to show the raw side of things and we're not going to protect people from imagery and that's a better way to get at these issues of deep feeling and deep pain," Melnyk said of the show.

And in other news, we're pretty sure a new sex act now exists: the Manitoba Mayonnaise.

You're welcome.

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