Courting Disaster

10 Things You Should Never Say After Sex

Courting Disaster is Jackalope Ranch's weekly column of dating horror stories, observations, how-tos, and more by Katie Johnson. Names of ex-boyfriends, past hookups, and bad blind dates have been changed to protect the guilty.

Sex is all about marketing. Please, understand your audience and choose your words carefully. From "making love" to "fucking," you've got a pretty broad spectrum of choices. So although your blood is rushing away from your brain and down to your genitals, try to make an effort with your vocabulary. Good grammar is sexy and bad vocabulary can kill a lady boner. Also don't say "lady boner." We hate it.

Here are the 10 worst things you can say -- most of which I've heard said -- post-coitus (including the words "post-coitus").