Wimbledon Table Tennis Tournament at Phoenix's Hotel Palomar Saturday

If the phrase "You cannot be serious!" is a quotable reference and you have some inkling of who's still in the running for a Wimbledon 2013 championship (a tough challenge considering how many top-ranked contenders are out already), then you are a tennis nerd and this one's for you. You'll have the chance to unleash your inner Maria Sharapova, shrieks and all, when Hotel Palomar hosts a very serious table tennis tournament on Saturday, June 29.

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If the competition's name, The "You Cannot Be Serious!" Table Tennis Tournament, is any indication, attitude and throwback tennis duds will abound as 64 paddle-wielders swat it out starting at 3:30 p.m. at the LUSTRE rooftop garden.

And while they're serving up stiff competition, hotel staff will serve up oh-so English Pimm's Cups and strawberries with cream. They sound like pretty good consolation prizes for both unlucky ping-pongers and those mourning the lack of Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer on the grass courts in this year's edition of the primmest Grand Slam.

DJs Agassi and Sampras will show off their ace spinning skills. The grand champion will win a one-night stay at the hotel and receive a $100 gift certificate to Lustre Rooftop Garden. The attendee with the best costume wins a $100 gift certificate; our money's on a few Richie Tenenbaum impersonators turning up. The prizes are nothing to scowl at, sure, but they don't quite compare to the total Wimbledon prize money, which is a cool $34-ish million.

Players can check in from 2 to 3 p.m. Entry is $20. Register to serve and volley via

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