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Golden Gods Awards 2013: How Gene Simmons Gets Out of Interviews and Other Black Carpet Tales

If you've been reading this whiskey-drenched, devil-horn-throwing column every week for more than a year, here's a little thank-you flashback to the beginning. In one of the first Metal Mondays installments, I talked about the Revolver Golden Gods Awards in Los Angeles -- basically the heavy metal Grammys. I couldn't get off work and was pretty pissed off about it. So I decided to celebrate a different kind of golden god: Jim Marshall, who had passed away the week before.

Well, the 5th Golden Gods Awards show was held Thursday, May 2, at Club Nokia in downtown Los Angeles. And lo and behold, I snagged a spot on the "black carpet" conducting interviews, as well as a ticket to the awards show. Hellll yeaahh.

Here's the thing, though. No one seems to give a shit about the Golden Gods Awards. Even hardcore metalheads.