Here's How Not to Approach a Journalist on Facebook

Dear Spence,

When your singer, who goes by the name of Daniel David Spence on Facebook, first approached me on Facebook to become my "friend," I strongly considered accepting his request to friend me. After all, I work in digital marketing as a social media strategist, and I accept everyone who requests me -- the first time, at least. And, I mean, look at that profile picture -- it's almost like Pete Wentz reincarnated, and at the time you first requested me, Fall Out Boy was defunct.

I was missing the black hair dyed and flat-ironed look.

But, alas, I received two eerily similar Facebook messages from him in a row. This didn't seem like a genuine request for my precious friendship -- I smelled something that reeked of processed meat.