Maynard James Keenan

Maynard James Keenan: Events and Rituals

The journey known as "Vintage 2012" is almost complete. Not finished, but it's most certainly arriving at a fairly calm station. No more 2 a.m. panic-related insomnia attacks, where I stare at the ceiling going over and over the logistics of a tiny workspace. I'm not about to kid myself; there's still quite a few long days ahead. Just none that involve an adrenaline rush. I've been trying to catch up on a bit of sleep, if there is such a thing. This usually involves a late dinner, a glass of wine, and some commercial-free iTunes downloads.

A few nights ago I woke up on the couch having fallen asleep under these aforementioned circumstances. I was out like a corpse. It was that satisfying borderline-fatigue-meets-insulin-crash type of sleep where you wake up feeling like a limp pile of lead marionettes. Had I hair, I would have most certainly been sporting some Gumby bed head. I found myself staring at Kim Coates (The Last Boyscout, Resident Evil) staring at a transvestite on an episode of Sons of Anarchy. At first I thought I was dreaming, because I don't recall Walton Goggins (Justified, The Shield, Cowboys & Aliens) having breasts, let alone a pair with such - how shall we say -- presence and perfectly executed presentation. I was disturbingly fascinated by Kim's uncomfortably distracted obsession. Now he had me curious. What did he see that I hadn't yet? I then had a startling thought. I looked around to see if my wife was staring at me staring at Kim staring at Walton's divine assets. Good luck explaining that one away.

See also: Maynard is Moving To Wednesday See also: What is Puscifer? See also: Maynard James Keenan: Rochambeau Myself See also: Maynard James Keenan: These Are The "End of Days" See also: Maynard James Keenan: Up on the Sun's New Columnist See also: Maynard James Keenan (Puscifer, Tool, A Perfect Circle) on The Importance of Keeping It Local