New Times Sees President Obama So You Don't Have To

President Obama came to Phoenix today to say that it should be easier for people to buy homes, and the mortgage process should be more favorable to home-buyers.

Since we're just talking about things that would be nice to have, I'll take a large pepperoni pizza from NYPD Pizza delivered to my desk in the next 15 minutes, gratis, of course.

Really, Obama's speech motivated us to tell you that if you have "see the president in person" on your bucket list, cross that out and add skydiving or something.

See also:
-President Obama Coming to Phoenix to Talk About Something or Other
-Jan Brewer Claims to Have Had a "Positive" Meeting With President Obama

Unless you're a die-hard Obama fan (which many of the attendees were, since they were invited), it's an extreme hassle to go see the President of the United States read a speech prepared by someone else.

Since you probably don't just have four hours in the middle of a Tuesday to go see the president (although it's really concerning how many people do), we took the layman's approach to attending, so you didn't have to.

First of all, the president's speech was at 1 p.m. Of course, the White House asked that attendees start going to a church down the street around 10 a.m., so you could take a school bus to the speech location, the gym at Desert Vista High School in Ahwatukee.

Then, you have to present your ticket to various people to get inside -- a ticket you somehow obtained to this "invitation only" event. Miraculously, pointing to a gentleman ahead in the line and claiming he had the ticket actually worked on everyone who asked for a ticket, paving the way for several hours of sitting in a high school gymnasium, waiting for the president.

If you're really concerned about what the president has to say about housing, here are the bullet points of his plan:

  • "Congress should pass a good, bipartisan idea to allow every homeowner the chance to save thousands of dollars a year by refinancing their mortgage at today's rates."
  • "[The Administration is] cutting red tape for responsible families who want to get a mortgage but keep getting rejected by the banks."
  • ". . . fixing our broken immigration system. It would actually help our housing market."
  • "We should address the uneven recovery by rebuilding the communities hit the hardest by the housing crisis, including many right here in Arizona."
  • "We should make sure families that don't want to buy a home or can't yet afford to buy one still have a decent place to rent. "
Not exactly groundbreaking material, but the transcript and video are online if you really need to see it.

Bravo, bravo. Now, once you think you can snap a few grainy cellphone pictures and try to get the hell out of there, you'll find that you're not allowed to leave the building until Obama's out of there, which will take a while because he's got hands to shake and such.

Then, you find that you've been gated inside the perimeter of a high school, as Obama hasn't left the premises yet. Add in the fact that the buses are late, and you're already taking the mile hike back to the church where you parked, you're probably thinking all these schmoes can keep those terrible interest rates.

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Follow Matthew Hendley on Twitter at @MatthewHendley.