This is Groundhog Day, and Pennsylvania's most famous marmot emerged from his hole in Punxsutawney this morning to see his shadow, which, of course, means there will be six more weeks of winter.
Normally we would rely on morning shows like Good Morning America to broadcast Phil's findings, but this year the groundhog took his message mainstream -- he "tweets."
"Eek! A horrifying shadow! I'm going back to bed," Punxsutawney Phil "writes" on his Twitter page. "Guess that's 6 more weeks of winter, chumps!"
Joke's on you, Phil, you're only a "chump" if you don't live in Phoenix.
For a lot of the country, if the groundhog sees his shadow, it's considered bad news -- it means six more weeks of scraping ice off of car windshields and shoveling snow. In Phoenix, when we hear about six more weeks of winter we say "hell yeah!"
If the lore of the groundhog is true, this means Phoenicians have a bit longer to enjoy the cooler weather before the helacious, annual bullshit known as summer strikes.
So, (ahem) bundle up, Phoenicians. Looks like we have at six more weeks of "winter" to look forward to.