Governor Jan Brewer Declares Next Week "Arizona Wine Week." Let's Hope Jan Has a Designated Driver

New Times is issuing a travel alert to take effect on all Arizona roadways for the duration of next week. The danger isn't weather related, it's more alleged-drunk-driving-governor, who just declared next week "Arizona Wine Week" related.

We couldn't help but laugh (and laugh, and laugh) and then shudder in fear this afternoon when it was brought to our attention that Governor Jan Brewer made the declaration on behalf of the Arizona Wine Growers Association.

This is funny (and terrifying) for several reasons, most notably the fact that it comes the day after Brewer tried to explain away a 1988 car wreck -- in which the arresting officer believed she was drunk -- by saying she was drinking wine, not scotch, before smashing into the back of a mini-van on Interstate 17.

As if drinking wine makes the incident -- and Jan's ensuing 20-year crusade to throw the book at those convicted of DUI -- any less hypocritical, Brewer told AZ Family yesterday "well ya know, I've never drank scotch in my life. If I have a cocktail, it's usually merlot wine."

However, in the police report filed by the Department of Public Safety the night of the accident, the officer says Brewer admitted to having one scotch before plowing into the mini-van. That was right before she admitted to having two scotches.

Sadly, the admissions ended there because, despite failing four field sobriety tests, Brewer was never given a breathalyzer test and subsequently never charged with a crime because she was a state senator at the time, making her immune from prosecution.

Read the police report -- and more about Jan's wild ride -- here.

Marina Renneke, spokeswoman for the AWGA, tells New Times the governor will not be in attendance on Monday for the press conference announcing Wine Week (Jan will be in San Francisco sucking all the possible political life out of SB 1070). Renneke wouldn't say much else about Brewer's participation in the event and told us any DUI-related questions should be directed to the governor's office.

Per usual, Brewer's press secretary, Paul Sensman, did not immediately respond to an email.

Without the underlying concern that Brewer could slip past her security detail and find herself behind the wheel of a car, the festival itself sounds great. Check out the details here.

If you choose to drive anywhere next week, keep in mind that you've been warned: the wine will be flowin' at the directive of Jan Brewer, which makes being a driver on an Arizona roadway about as safe as being a mayor in Mexico.