John McCain's Running For President Again (Psych!)

Just in case you read the above headline and nearly had a stroke, relax -- 74-year-old Senator John McCain is NOT running for president in the 2012 election.

"The Maverick" spoke to a group of Alabama businessmen and government leaders yesterday, where he was probed about whether he had any intentions of taking yet another stab at the presidency.

"There's no education in the second kick of a mule," McCain told the group.

For anyone who doesn't speak hillbilly, that means no.

GOPers expected to take the presidential plunge include former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum.

"Everybody is downgrading the candidates, but this is a process," McCain continues. "A viable candidate will emerge -- one that we can be very supportive of."

Whomever the candidate is, it will not be John McCain. As for his former running mate -- and apparent soon-to-be Valley resident -- Sarah Palin: the jury's still out.