Guilty Pleasures

Dairy Queen's Cotton Candy Blizzard Is Back, and It Sucks as Much as Ever

The Guilty Pleasure: Cotton Candy Blizzard
Where to Get It: Dairy Queen
Price: $3.79 for a small (regular Blizzard prices)
What it Really Costs: Three cavities and roughly an eighth of your taste buds

Due to some technical difficulties it took us about 40 minutes to finally get a Cotton Candy Blizzard from the DQ drive-thru. But considering that others have waited for years to see the flavor's return, we guess our wait really wasn't that bad.

Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the Blizzard itself.

After patiently waiting, we were finally handed a small cup full of vanilla ice cream with multicolored confetti sprinkles and a slight pinkish tinge. The drive-thru worker even turned it upside down when handing it over, to prove that it had the perfect Blizzard consistency.

The smell was so sweet it was almost sickening, and the taste was just as strong. From the first bite, we felt our tongue go numb from the sugary frozen custard as our teeth crunched down on the cracking sprinkles. It tasted more like cotton candy than we’d expected, but it was still reminiscent of what would happen if a clown mixed some of its creepy over-sugared rainbow essence into a normal DQ Blizzard.

Despite all of the hype and Facebook fans, the whole thing was disappointing. It didn't really taste like cotton candy, and it wasn’t even that good, although we admit to not being the biggest fans of cotton candy-flavored anything.

Unlike many Blizzard flavors that seamlessly swirl the essence and chunks of the mix-ins with the creaminess of the ice cream, the Cotton Candy Blizzard was just one big sugary mess. And considering all of the fanfare leading up to the re-release, we were shocked at the monotonous, boring, and too-sweet-for-adult-mouths flavor — although we had expected the feeling of the hard chunks of rainbow-colored sugar to do nothing other than rot our teeth away.

Does it taste like cotton candy? Not really, but that's because cotton candy is primarily about the texture and the warmth (and the fact that you only eat it at places where you should already be having an unreasonably good time). But if you've been craving an extra sugary Blizzard with tooth-shattering crunchy chunks of sugar mixed into it, than the Cotton Candy Blizzard is definitely for you.

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