Phoenix Missed Connections: Summer Concert Edition

Summer concerts in Phoenix aren't exactly the most glamorous things in the world. If you're indoors, you're dealing with an overworked air conditioner and a sweaty walk to the parking lot. Outdoor concerts are great, if you're the type of person who likes dancing in saunas. But that hasn't stopped a some ambitious Phoenicians from looking for love while in the crowd holding $14 beers, though if you ask Johnny Lee, perhaps he'd say they're looking in all the wrong places.

"She was just 17 (you know what I mean.)" (Slipknot concert)
You are white, wearing a black choker, dressed sexy with boots and were with your mother. I saw you walking around inside briefly then, walked right into you as we were both leaving. You left the back area, I was walking across the parking lot and then started walking the other way as I realized I passed my car. We didnt talk, made eye contact a few times, I even stopped and was staring at you as you walked for a moment, you are perfect with your choker necklace. I am very strict, demanding, into BDSM, always keep my lady safe and protected, will never let anyone choke you but me, I hope this finds you. I was looking for a girl exactly like you at the concert, passed you up even knowing you were single and with mom. Respond if this sounds like you!!!
I am white, 28, tall, ready to start a relationship.
1) Didn't talk. 2) With mother. 3) Creeped on her from a distance. 4) At Slipknot concert. That this guy doesn't have a girlfriend already is baffling. Not to mention that the fact she wore a choker doesn't mean she's kinky. She might just have terrible taste.

"You're treading water successfully." (Incubus)
You were at the Incubus concert we exchanged several looks you looked like you were with your BF so I didn't make a move but I knew you were into me. I was the tall guy in blue shirt with the tattoos.
She's with her boyfriend but she looked at me. I'm going to obsess over this and post on Craigslist because I KNOW she's going to be wishing I had spoken to her.
"Don't Put Him Down as Arrogant" (Rush)
So I was at the concert with a friend last night and you stopped us as we were waiting to cross the street to go to Tilted Kilt. You asked us about boyfriends... and it seems like you may have embarrassed the two kids you were with... Maybe your sons?

Anyway, you seemed fun and it'd be cool to chat...we got separated at Tilted Kilt.

If you are *him*, tell me your name and let's chat.
Just a Becky Thatcher, looking for her Tom Sawyer.

"Run for your life if you can, little girl" (Slipknot)

We were in the stage left concession area, you ordered a blueberry red-bull, they thought they didn't have it cold and then did. You have an Elmo tattoo on your left shoulder, I think you had Marlboro NXT cigarettes in your hand, appeared to be a new pack, unopened, you are beautiful, had your hair up, wearing a skirt. We talked about marijuana, how your a stoner, and I smoke also. Was going to ask for your # but didn't see you when I was done getting a drink, I was wearing a hat and Dream Theater shirt, I am 30. You had two ladies with you and one was talking about how she doesn't smoke weed anymore, she said your name in context with the conversation, it started with an L. If your reading this you already know its you little girl...
Shot in the dark to find you this random way, fuck it! I want to spend time with you and build a relationship!
He wants to "build a relationship" ... with a "little girl."

"Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream"

Section 102 you sat behind me with a female, I drove you crazy with my were incredibly hot. You left before last song, thanks for not taking my poster home. If your not taken I would love to meet up with you sometime.

Ah, the tried-and-true "annoy him to get his attention" tactic. Works just as well as a functioning adult as it did as a third-grader.