I Would Do Anything for Fashion, But I Won't Do Gorpcore

Summer is nearly here. Triple-digit weather comes with bikinis, short-shorts, and now fleece jackets. Yes, fleece jackets. According to New York Magazine, gorpcore is the latest fashion trend we should all embrace in our Columbia windbreakers.

The look is simple: Add one item of clothing to your outfit that says "I may or may not go camping later." The rest of your outfit should say "I’m definitely not going camping later and if you ask me to pitch a tent, I’ll kill you."

A part of me is intrigued by this trend because the love of my life, Drake, is all about it. (He was recently spotted wearing weather-proof attire at Adult Swim’s annual upfront party.) He might have even started the trend in his “Hotline Bling” video, though no one is crediting this earth-loving-granola-eating fashion trend to Champagne Papi.

I’m also not opposed to having an actual reason to step foot into REI. Because drinking on patios about covers the extent of my outdoorsiness, I’ve never been within a five-mile radius of the outdoor apparel store. That is, I hadn't until this past Christmas when my dad decided to buy me hiking gear. When I stepped inside, my jaw dropped to the floor. Not because of the price of Teva sandals (they’re $75, by the way), but because there were attractive men as far as the eye could see.

Gorpcore could very well be the fashionable way for me to get healthy and find the love of my life while shopping for performance socks (fingers crossed Drake is in need of a new puffy vest soon). But then, when I really think about it, Gorpcore is probably the stupidest, most ironic fashion trend since Normcore. Remember? That was the trend where people wore “normal” clothes to be ironic.

The guy wearing the Patagonia shirt isn’t on his way to go kayaking. He’s on his way to do Jagerbombs, and a lot of them. And the girl wearing that parka with her skinny jeans isn’t about hit up the park trail. She’s about to hit up the mall.

Gorpcore also happens to be the least practical fashion trend for Phoenicians.

Unless you enjoy getting heatstroke, fleece is not, nor will it ever be, our friend in the summer. And don’t even get me started on the irony of someone wearing a windbreaker in 100-degree weather.

However, if you’re so inclined to live the Gorpcore lifestyle, you don’t need Drizzy’s bank account to do so. You can pretend you have a National Parks annual pass by purchasing a Patagonia trucker hat for $29. Or you can pretend you're the kind of person who makes organic, gluten-free, vegan granola bars by purchasing a North Face vest for $72.

Either way, Gorpcore is a hard pass for me. It’s a level of hipster douchery that I can’t get behind, no matter how much I want to unzip Drake’s full-zip fleece. It’s a fashion trend that has taken irony to a mountaintop level. And for that, I say, this trend needs to take a hike.