I arrived in Phoenix and realized I needed to upgrade from Dippity-Do to pomade, only to realize I needed plastic surgery to fit in.
When I’m stuck in traffic, I rock out to my Journey CD and put my stunner shades on.
I never forget to TiVo Nip/Tuck, The Hills, My Super Sweet Sixteen and sometimes America's Next Top Model.
One thing my mother doesn’t know about me is that I am a MySpace whore!
On Saturday night, you can find me "riding in the drop top with the top down . . . switching lanes" (Justin Timberlake).
My favorite thing about summer in Phoenix is less clothes on the ladies.
If I could redo my first kiss, I’d kiss someone besides my fifth-grade teacher.
The one dessert I refuse to eat is crème brûlée because I can't pronounce or spell it.
If I was mayor of Phoenix, I’d redo Proposition 90210.
In high school, I was the kid who climbed the rope in gym class and never came down.
In another life, I was Zoolander "Le Tigre".
The one place in Phoenix I don’t want anyone to know about is the all-night China buffet for $1.99, located deep in the heart of Phoenix. Happy ending, included.
On my nightstand, you’ll find an unplugged alarm clock and an empty protein shake.
The fictional character I’m most like is the Hulk, but with way better hair.
One thing I want to do before I die is fill out a survey for New Times.
The best thing about Phoenix is . . . Land of women, juice and ginnin', DJ spinnin', it's on tonight!
