Best Way to Sneak Weed into Tent City 2011 | Over the fence | People & Places | Phoenix
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Best Way to Sneak Weed into Tent City

Over the fence

If you're forced to call Joe Arpaio's infamous gulag, Tent City, home and you like smoking weed, you might be inclined to try and sneak it in the old-fashioned way: your ass. This is a mistake. For starters, who wants to smoke ass weed? Secondly, who wants to stick weed up their ass? The solution: Have someone toss it over the fence — according to Sheriff Joe himself, that's how most of the contraband gets into the jail in the first place. Of course, if caught hurling bags of weed into the jail, the person recruited for such a task could find themselves behind bars with you.

Best Medical Marijuana Signs

Man Cave Signs

Man Cave offers all kinds of signs for garages, pubs, etc., but the store's line of marijuana signs is their most colorful. The store's tin signs for medical marijuana include all sorts of pop culture imagery, from a Bob Dobbs-ish guy asking, "It's 4:19. Got a minute?" to a sign designed like a postage stamp and depicting a raven-haired Statue of Liberty suggestively sucking on her finger, above the words "Ganja Girl." Man Cave has plenty of tin marijuana signs depicting half-naked women, like their "Humboldt Honey" round sign (with an image of a busty blonde dressed as a bee/fairy) and its "Make Love Not War" stamp sign, depicting a topless blonde in a state of ecstasy, with a marijuana leaf necklace around her neck. Old anti-marijuana propaganda posters are available as well, such as the "Marihuana: Assassin of Youth" front-page newspaper image, and a Marihuana: The Plant from Hell movie poster. And in case you're not sure when it's going to be 4:20, Man Cave also offers a Humboldt Funk Clock with a redhead in short shorts holding a pot leaf. With so many sexy designs to choose from, why bother with those old Reefer Madness posters?

Best Place to Find or Become a Medical Marijuana Caregiver

AzGrowPro

If you're a valid, card-holding medical-marijuana patient unable to procure your own medication, AzGrowPro has got you covered. This company connects patients with caregivers and has several certified caregivers ready to assist patients in the procurement and delivery of medical marijuana. AzGrowPro says its caregivers have access to "award-winning strains from Europe and California's finest," and it even offers assistance in paying potential patients' application fees. People who are looking to become caregivers can also work with AzGrowPro to find patients. The company will help potential caregivers complete their applications and find clients to refer for caregivers who already have their medical-marijuana cards. They even offer education on growing methods and creating edible marijuana products.

Best Way to Keep the Streets Safe

Driving MBA

Just the phrase "teenage driver" is enough to send shivers up and down our spine. For some kids, getting behind the wheel is akin to another act that also may be fast, exciting, and potentially dangerous. Either way, someone might get screwed. Thank goodness (on one front, anyway) for Driving MBA. We have observed this mom-and-pop local operation in action and are impressed with its attention to detail, the intense one-on-one interactions between teacher and teen, and the distinct feeling that no one's getting out of there with a driving certificate unless they truly earn it. That's a good thing, not only for the kids, but also for the rest of us, right?

Best Real-Life Crime Memoir

The Two-Edged Sword by Donald W. Tucker

Donald W. Tucker knows the streets — working as a federal narcotics agent on the streets of Chicago and, later, as a member of the Secret Service. He works as a private dick in Scottsdale now, but with The Two-Edged Sword, he's added an "author" notch to his belt of accomplishments. The book explores his experiences as a black man and as an agent, discussing the difficulties he faced and recounting harrowing stories, including being called to escort the first black student at Ole Miss in Oxford, Mississippi, but being denied the chance to take part in the cultural milestone due to his race. Tucker's writing is clean and straightforward, allowing his stories to tell themselves. Some of the stories, like ones involving the Black Panthers, undercover operations, and complications at Indian casinos, seem as if they could come have straight from an Elmore Leonard novel — except they actually happened.

Best Strip Mall

Southwest corner of University Drive and Ash Avenue, Tempe

We'll admit, the gray complex with its drab green trim isn't much to look at, but you know what they say: You can't judge a book by its cover. Even with the death of the beloved Eastside Records, the University and Ash strip mall is home to just about everything we need. Cartel Coffee Lab's iced toddy? Check. Otto's pizza slices? Check. Headquarters Head Shop for all your bong supplies? Check. Buffalo Exchange for a sweet new outfit? Check. Wet Paint, Ash Ave Comics, HTC Piercing, and Cowtown Skateboards? Check and check. And with the Tempe farmers market and Casey Moore's right next door, we don't think we'll ever need to leave this corner.

Best Cop Shop

Phoenix Police Museum

This young museum (founded in 1993) is run entirely by volunteer staff, many of whom are family members of police officers, past and present. They love having visitors to the museum and will gladly take you on a tour of the museum exhibits and enthusiastically share all they know about the history of law enforcement in Phoenix. And there's plenty to see here, from Phoenix's first "jail" (a big rock with shackles) and an arrest ledger from the 1800s to a 1919 Ford Model T police car and a 9/11 exhibit featuring a piece of steel from the Twin Towers. Visitors can also learn all about late Valley resident Ernesto Miranda, after whom Miranda rights are named, and pay tribute to fallen officers killed in the line of duty (the first was officer Haze Burch, shot and killed by fugitives in 1925). Best of all, the museum is free (but donations are needed and appreciated).

Best Cop

Robert Taylor, Pinal County Sheriff's Deputy

As the career (and credibility) of former Pinal County Sheriff's Deputy Louie Puroll went down in flames this year, an actual hero has emerged from the PCSO: Deputy Robert Taylor, who saved two lives — in two separate incidents — in less than 45 minutes. The first was a choking infant, on whom Taylor performed CPR before getting the girl to a hospital. About 45 minutes later, while performing a wellness check at the home of an 83-year-old man, Taylor found the man trapped in a 15-foot-deep well and "barely conscious." Taylor crawled down the well and carried the man out to safety. Now, that's a cop.

Best Intern

Daniel Hernandez

While most interns spend their time filling Starbucks orders and finding ways to screw up making photocopies, Daniel Hernandez goes above and beyond. On January 8, Hernandez applied pressure to the entry wound on Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords' forehead after she was shot through the brain during the Tucson shooting rampage. The quick thinking of Hernandez, whose internship with Giffords started the morning of the shooting, is widely credited with saving the life of the congresswoman, who continues to recover from injuries sustained during the shooting. Hernandez claims he's not a hero. President Obama disagrees. "Daniel, I'm sorry, but we've decided you are a hero," the president said during a memorial service for the victims of the shooting.

Best Politician

U.S. Senator Jon Kyl

We are quite certain that Jack Kennedy is rolling around in his grave knowing that Jon Kyl — bedrock of the far right, champion of all things conservative — now occupies his old Senate office on Capitol Hill. But even JFK would have to admit that Kyl's a hell of a politician. Earlier this year, Kyl stood on the floor of the U.S. Senate and announced that well over 90 percent of the work Planned Parenthood does is directly related to terminating pregnancies.Turns out, that number is closer to 3 percent. That didn't faze Kyl. Instead of apologizing or having the good grace to look embarrassed, he simply issued a statement explaining his was not meant to be a factual statement. Oh. Comments like that can be career-enders, but not for a guy like Kyl, who sailed right past it and landed himself a spot on the debt supercommittee this summer. For years, no one heard much from Jon Kyl — the gray, angular guy stood in the shadow of his colorful angry Senate colleague John McCain. As the story goes, McCain kept his foot on Kyl's throat, promising the junior senator he could take the spotlight once McCain was elected president, assuming Kyl was a good boy and helped on McCain's campaigns (which he did). Whoopsie — McCain never did become president, did he? Never mind. Kyl never has made a big splash here in Arizona (wait, neither has McCain), but he stayed busy in the shadows, building clout in Washington, where, for a guy like Jon Kyl, it really matters. (Pesky constituents!) Today, Kyl is the minority whip in the Senate, considered one of that body's big decision-makers. He's done well for himself. And we have a feeling he's about to do even better. The true test of his political abilities will come when we see what sort of plum job Jon Kyl lands when he leaves office in 2013.

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