"What happens in this room will be very intense for you," intones the narrator as he strips to his waist and begins forcefully but lovingly... trussing up a chicken. This is from the trailer for 50 Shades of Chicken a titillating parody cookbook following in the trail blazed by the socially acceptable mommy-porno 50 Shades of Grey.
50 Shades of Chicken promises to tell the erotic culinary tale of, "A young, free-range chicken" and "A dominating, ravenous chef." As the title would indicate, it will present 50 different preparations for chicken with salacious names like "Dripping Chicken" and "Chicken with a Hardon." From the Amazon.com page, here's a taste of what's inside:
"I want you to see this. Then you'll know everything. It's a cookbook," he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. "I want to prepare you, very much." This isn't just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There's pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we'll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. "I will control everything that happens here," he says. "You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you're my ingredient." I'll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something--what? Something delicious.
If you want to add this towering work of culinary literature to your collection, 50 Shades of Chicken comes out next week on November 13.