Friday morning laugh

I don't know if it's because it's been a long week, or what, but my ass is dragging this morning, and I'm looking forward to being holed up in my office indefinitely, with a big project to finish. It's only 9, and I'm already fantasizing about taking a nap. On days like this, I need a ton of caffeine and some kind of edible motivation to carry me through til lunchtime (writing about food on an empty stomach is masochism at its best). Today I brought a piece of homemade apple pie to work, and picked up a venti nonfat sugarfree vanilla latte at Starbucks.

About two sips into it, I checked my email and just got this awesome link from one of my friends. It's the Oracle of Starbucks -- just enter what you ordered and the Oracle will tell you what kind of loser you are. Get a load of my personality type, which made me laugh out loud and almost made the damn latte shoot out of my nose:

Personality type: Schmuck

You work your ass off because you're obsessed with money and status. You're always lying about having powerful friends. You wouldn't mind sleeping your way to the top but would miss getting to backstab coworkers along the way. All porn stars drink venti nonfat sugarfree vanilla latte.

Also drinks: $15 martinis Can also be found: Staring at self in mirror

You know, I always wondered what kind of career I'd have if I weren't in journalism, and now I know: porn star.


We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.